Ellie -- Trying Again with the Flowers ...

I give up ... I keep trying to take "just the right photo" of Ellie outside in the flowers and it just isn't working. I think it's the photographer because the subject is so darn cute. Thing is, she moves so fast that by the time I get the shot ready, she's just not there anymore. *smile*.
So, here we go again.

AND... big news on the pregnancy front (not mine!!): my friend, Lori is going to have a baby -- and possibly two. Check out her blog!! Congrats to you, my dear, dear friend!!!

Miss Fashionista, pondering the fate of the world while chewing on her sunglasses:


I'd put them on; she'd take them off.



Look at her looking out over her glasses. What a riot!!

Put them on; take them off; over and over and over.


I thought she looked like she was praying here. Actually, she was probably clapping; it's her favorite, favorite, favorite thing to do! She does it, laughing the whole time, ALL the time.



Happy exploring ...

My FAVORITE PHOTO!!! The wind was blowing through her hair, the sun was over her shoulder; she threw her hands up in the air and just closed her eyes and laughed out loud. It was priceless!!



More exploring in the yard ...
Just happy -- have you EVER seen a baby this happy all the time?? Well, except at bedtime, that is.

In the last day or so, she has begun to "wave". There are no words with the "wave", it's pretty random, but it's obvious that's what she's doing. We've "waved" her hand for her for so long, I guess she decided to try it out.

Baseball Season Has Started

We had a month long break between basketball and baseball. I'm glad that Josh has a sport to get back into. He needs the activity. This year he is on the Mets' team. I've set up their blog (for anyone interested in following along).

Last night we had a scrimmage and Josh struck out once and got a double the second time. He is playing third base this year (we've come full circle now as he played third back when he was in Pleasant View). He seems to like his team, although I've noticed it takes a team a while to "mesh" into a team. And sadly, sometimes they just don't. I'm hopeful that this team will.

Josh has apparently had a growth spurt as he is now taller than one of his friends that was taller than him just a little while back. The pants seem to be getting shorter too. Thank goodness it's almost "shorts all the time" weather.

Way to Go, Josh

Report cards came home on Wednesday and Josh was excited to call me as soon as he got out and tell me that he made all "A's" and "B's". I am so proud of him. He brought up his social studies grade 12 points -- that's huge!!

Way to go, Josh!!

Pix of Josh at Age 1

Thanks to Julie for requesting pix of Josh at age 1. Now, granted, most are already scrapbooked and I didn't have time to scan them so here are some "photos of photos" of Josh -- including the purple flower photo.


One year old photo ...

Eating first birthday cake ...


First birthday party ...

With MeeMee and DeeDee at birthday party ...

Three months photo ...

Chillin' with Sunshine ...

Bear on the day we got him ... not this small now is he??

Josh with Punch ...

"Struction worker" is what Josh always wanted to play ...

Multitasking -- Eating a popsicle and drinking Koolaid on the back porch

Railroad pix ...

Purple Flowers

When Josh was little, I took the most amazing photo of him outside our house at the beginning of spring. The purple flowers were up and we had not mowed our yard for the first time yet, and he was in these little overalls and had bent over to pick one of the flowers and all you could see was these purple flowers.

So, in that though, I decided to try to get some photos of Ellie in the purple flowers. However, the grass was still wet, Ellie was squirmy wormy and she was quite interested in eating the flower (again -- remember the daffodils??). The first few she just wasn't quite awake yet, I don't think so they were more pensive. I think I would have liked better to have had a little less sun as well -- for the shadows. But, nonetheless, here are some of my favs.

This one is my favorite -- because I love the way her lips are pursed out.

Lawsy mercy, it's the letter L. Can you tell I'm from the South?

Let's see what this letter holds for us in describing J. and E.

JOSH

Lovable, lazy (yes, sometimes!!), loving

It's only fair to point out the positive and sometimes negative right? Well, Josh and Ellie are both lovable little munchkins, but to be honest, sometimes Josh can be lazy. He really wants others to do things for him instead of doing for himself. I have often realized that Josh's "Love Language" (if you haven't read the Love Languages of Kids, do so if you have time), is acts of service. His tank gets filled if you do things for him (get me a drink, bring me the remote, take my shoes off -- I'm not kidding, he's asked that before!!). But, along the same lines, I think part of it is that he is lazy and doesn't want to do it himself. But, along the good line, he is a very loving guy. He loves Ellie so much (even when he calls her "that thing" -- his nickname for her -- I know that he loves her a whole lot!) and I know he loves us too.

ELLIE

Lovable, loud, little

How does anyone so little make such loud noises -- especially in the middle of the night? Ellie has reverted back to horrific sleeping habits again and both Kevin and I are feeling the loss of sleep again. Yes, she is still a little bit -- regardless of the fact that she eats all the time and is growing. She is probably right at 17 pounds now, but her official one year check up is in a couple of weeks so we'll know then. She just moved into 6 month clothes and some of them are still too big, especially the bottoms.

"K"

I haven't forgotten my responsibilities to the letter "K", but I've spent a day or two pondering the letter. It's not one that words come to mind easily.

Kind -- well, sometimes Josh is and then, he's a pre-teen boy, so sometimes he's just not
Kooky - yes, both of them sometimes, but not really ...
Klutzy - no, not really
Knowledgeable -- well, yes, Josh is, but about what... too vague

So... for both

JOSH AND ELLIE:
Kissable

But, *shhhhhhhh* don't tell Josh I wrote that -- he would be embarrased. I know "L" HAS to be an easier letter.

Got any good ideas for "K" -- leave a comment!!

Post Practice

Those of you who don't have boys, or have boys that don't play baseball don't know what you are missing. This is what a boy who plays really hard looks like after practice ...

I'm really looking forward to the laundry now that baseball season has started back. However, Josh was hitting so well tonight that I was blown away. I don't know that I've seen him hit so well so early in the season. Go, Josh!!

Love It ...

I liked this photo of Ellie. . .

Controversial Thoughts

I should probably post a disclaimer: warning, controversial adoption thoughts; enter at your own risk. Oh, I know there are so many people on so many sides of the fence with adoption and I respect most viewpoints on adoption, but please if you feel the need to leave a negative comment on this post -- for whatever reason -- don't. These are my thoughts and not subject to criticism for whatever reason. Onward ...

As I sat last night, with the nightlight on in Ellie's room, rocking her to sleep, feeling the softness of her face against my chest and smelling the sweet smell of freshly washed hair (you know that sweet baby smell -- yum!!), my heart ached that I could not be the mom who carried her in my tummy, that I was not her biological mother. God tenderly reminded me that there is no way Kevin and I could have created this exact person that I am so in love with and who holds each person in our family's heart by her little finger. Those sweet Asian eyes that bore holes into my heart could not have come from the genetic pool that Kevin and I have. So many other things that are mysteries to us about her -- her personality, her features -- could not be created from us. And that makes my heart so very sad.

Don't get me wrong; I am so not grieving the fact that I couldn't have another biological child. That's not what this is about. I feel a loss that I missed out on all the things related to her pregnancy, birth and first months (although, to be really honest, I certainly did not miss the sleepless nights of a newborn) of her life.

And this led me, obviously, to think about her birth mom. We are coming up on E's first birthday, and I absolutely know without a shadow of a doubt in my heart that on the other side of the world, there is a woman who is remembering what she was doing a year ago each day leading up to E's birth. She probably doesn't have anyone to talk to about it, and I imagine, that regardless of the situation surrounding her relinquishment of E., she has heartbreak over it. How could you not? She also has to have curiosity about where her daughter is, how her life is, if she is ok, what she looks like. I so wish she could know how very much she is loved and what her life is like and that she is ok -- more than ok -- happy (I hope) and content, well-fed, healthy, safe.

I don't think of her birth mom a lot because honestly, as each day passes and we get a little farther away from the initial adoption process, I feel more and more like she has just always been with us and that she is without a doubt our child and it is easy to forget about her beginnings. Is it because I want to? No, I don't think so; I think I have just so fully embraced her as my daughter that I can't imagine anyone else with any claims to her. Does this mean I won't share all I know about her early years? Absolutely not. Someone recently asked me if we were going to tell her she is adopted. I sat there for a mere second before I said, "Um, I think she'll know." *smile* And then I went on to say that we would absolutely tell her, that we have all the "books", "photos" and stories to help her to know about how she came into our family. But, in my mind, really that's all it is -- how she came into our family. Will she experience a sense of loss? Yes, I'm certain she will, and while that hurts me for her, I know it's a process she'll have to go through on her own someday, with our support, of course, but it's a part of her journey through life.

So, I'm rambling now and have gone off on lots of tangents -- all of which I wanted to record and hold on to for the future -- for both me and E.

"J"

A small hiatus from the letter of the day, but continuing on -- even if it takes me the rest of the year to get it done.

JOSH:
Just
Josh wants everything in life to be fair, or just. I try repeatedly to explain to him why it just isn't that way and how we are supposed to live our lives based on what God tells us and not on how others behave. It's a hard lesson for him because of his sense of what's fair and what ought to be. I wish, so much, that life were fair for him and that he didn't have to ever learn about how unfair life can be. But, the reality is that we live in a world filled with sin and things will not ever be "just" and fair and right here. I am thankful, however, that he knows the One who will eventually make all things right and fair and that he is "justified" in Him.

ELLIE:
"Jelly Belly", Jovial
One of Ellie's nicknames is "Jelly Belly" -- not that she really has a jelly belly, we just think it's cute -- Jelly Belly Ellie. I'm certain as a teen this will not go over well. I also call her "Pie", as in, "Hi Pie!" or "Puddin' Pie" and "E" and "EB - short for Ellie Belly". And, of course, the girl is definitely jovial. She is usually just cheerful as can be!

Ellie Meets Her Aunt, Uncle and Cousins

Today as I was finishing up my work at the consignment sale, Kevin, Josh and Ellie went to Nana's house to spend time with her and meet Uncle Steve, Aunt Angie and cousins Danielle, Lauren and Emily, and, of course, doggy cousin, Bella. Word has it that "a good time was had by all."

Here are photos from today. I'm thankful they'll be back in a few weeks so I can see them too! Uncle Steve leaves in a few weeks to spend a year in Qatar. We will miss him, but not nearly as much as I'm sure his "girls" will.

Hanging out with Uncle Steve and Aunt Angie ...

Cousin Emily gives Ellie her bottle...

Belly blows from Uncle Steve -- look at that giggle ...

Playing with Emily and Lauren ...

Four (of the five) cousins . . .

Kevin helping Dani (who doesn't like to have her picture made, apparently) with homework ...Emily and Ellie ...

Aunt Angie introduces Ellie to Bella. I'm thinking, by the look on her face, she wasn't too excited about Bella.

Lauren and Ellie