Wednesday, January 26, 2011

It Hits at the Strangest Time

Today we decided to sort through these one million toys that have collected in our house over the last few months and to get them organized and see if there are any that are ready to find a new home through consignment.

As I was sorting through all of Ellie's dress-up costumes, I realized her cardboard box was starting to come apart. I thought, "It would be really cool to have a wooden box to put her dress up clothes in so it wouldn't tear up." Then it hit me that I couldn't call my daddy and ask him to make her one. And he would have. He would have loved to do that. And my heart hurt and that lurch in my stomach hit again. It's just a feeling aI can't make go away when it comes

I suppose since I was "on the subject", it made seeing the shoe box that Kevin's Christmas present had come in really hard too -- because that was the last time I spent with my daddy.

The strangest things make it hard -- a shoe box and dress up clothes. Things you would never think. I can't imagine how very hard it is for my mama.

Winter is certainly a hard time to grieve, I think. If it were warm; if we were really busy ... maybe then it wouldn't be so hard. There wouldn't be so much free time to think. But, then, I suppose it would only prolong the process.

But, on a plus note, the toys are getting organized.

1 comment:

Jeanne said...

I understand moments like that--they are so difficult to experience. Even though my first husband passed away 14 years ago, I still have occasional moments like that. (((hugs)))