Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Cicada Drama

I am SUCH a girl.

Cicadas have hit Middle Tennessee. For those of you who don't have a clue what a cicada is, here is a photo of one.

Mealy looking creatures aren't they? It's been thirteen years since they were in the Middle Tennessee area, and honestly, I don't really remember them. That's not surprising since I don't remember what I had for dinner last night either.

My understanding is they can number up to 1.5 million per acre. I saw or heard most of that 1.5 million today and the ones I didn't see or hear hit my windshield as I drove down the road. I could actually SEE piles of them dead on the interstate. Eewwwww... gross.

Cicadas live on tree roots underground for 13 years then crawl out, shedding their shells (which is what I've been crunching on as I've walked through yards the last week) and then this week they've begun to "sing" (the males' mating call). Overall, I suppose they are harmless, except ....

They might cause you to hurt yourself, or, oh, I don't know, jump out of your car with it still rolling ... or something. I'm just saying.

Today as I was driving to my next house, I noticed something (large) black on my white skirt. I immediately figured out it was a cicada. Now, surprisingly, I didn't scream or jump or anything. I reached over, grabbed my work camera and snapped a picture of it (thinking I might gross out Beth Collins with the picture). Turns out it was blurry. Oh well.

And then it moved.
And that's where things went south.

I could see the street I was turning on. I was running mental calculations at record speed to see if I thought I could get to that road and pull over before this MONSTER BUG climbed further up my skirt and might even start flying around my face.

I pulled in to the road just as bug-eyes made his move up my leg in rapid form. I jumped out of the car with GREAT intentions of flipping him off my skirt and then getting back in the car and going on. It was THEN I realized that I didn't put the car in park AND it was sitting on a hill. If the mental calculations were fast before, they were lightning speed at this point. I'm sure there was steam flying out of my ears as I jumped BACK in the car, putting on the brake, putting the car in park and jumping RIGHT BACK OUT as I saw that the darned cicada was still attached to my skirt and climbing his way back up.

I managed to get back out without letting him loose in the car, flicked him off, got back in the car and realized that if I had ONLY had a video camera handy, I could have been $10,000 richer because this HAD to have been a RIOT to watch.

I don't like cicadas.

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