Lawsy mercy, it's the letter L. Can you tell I'm from the South?

Let's see what this letter holds for us in describing J. and E.

JOSH

Lovable, lazy (yes, sometimes!!), loving

It's only fair to point out the positive and sometimes negative right? Well, Josh and Ellie are both lovable little munchkins, but to be honest, sometimes Josh can be lazy. He really wants others to do things for him instead of doing for himself. I have often realized that Josh's "Love Language" (if you haven't read the Love Languages of Kids, do so if you have time), is acts of service. His tank gets filled if you do things for him (get me a drink, bring me the remote, take my shoes off -- I'm not kidding, he's asked that before!!). But, along the same lines, I think part of it is that he is lazy and doesn't want to do it himself. But, along the good line, he is a very loving guy. He loves Ellie so much (even when he calls her "that thing" -- his nickname for her -- I know that he loves her a whole lot!) and I know he loves us too.

ELLIE

Lovable, loud, little

How does anyone so little make such loud noises -- especially in the middle of the night? Ellie has reverted back to horrific sleeping habits again and both Kevin and I are feeling the loss of sleep again. Yes, she is still a little bit -- regardless of the fact that she eats all the time and is growing. She is probably right at 17 pounds now, but her official one year check up is in a couple of weeks so we'll know then. She just moved into 6 month clothes and some of them are still too big, especially the bottoms.

"K"

I haven't forgotten my responsibilities to the letter "K", but I've spent a day or two pondering the letter. It's not one that words come to mind easily.

Kind -- well, sometimes Josh is and then, he's a pre-teen boy, so sometimes he's just not
Kooky - yes, both of them sometimes, but not really ...
Klutzy - no, not really
Knowledgeable -- well, yes, Josh is, but about what... too vague

So... for both

JOSH AND ELLIE:
Kissable

But, *shhhhhhhh* don't tell Josh I wrote that -- he would be embarrased. I know "L" HAS to be an easier letter.

Got any good ideas for "K" -- leave a comment!!

Post Practice

Those of you who don't have boys, or have boys that don't play baseball don't know what you are missing. This is what a boy who plays really hard looks like after practice ...

I'm really looking forward to the laundry now that baseball season has started back. However, Josh was hitting so well tonight that I was blown away. I don't know that I've seen him hit so well so early in the season. Go, Josh!!

Love It ...

I liked this photo of Ellie. . .

Controversial Thoughts

I should probably post a disclaimer: warning, controversial adoption thoughts; enter at your own risk. Oh, I know there are so many people on so many sides of the fence with adoption and I respect most viewpoints on adoption, but please if you feel the need to leave a negative comment on this post -- for whatever reason -- don't. These are my thoughts and not subject to criticism for whatever reason. Onward ...

As I sat last night, with the nightlight on in Ellie's room, rocking her to sleep, feeling the softness of her face against my chest and smelling the sweet smell of freshly washed hair (you know that sweet baby smell -- yum!!), my heart ached that I could not be the mom who carried her in my tummy, that I was not her biological mother. God tenderly reminded me that there is no way Kevin and I could have created this exact person that I am so in love with and who holds each person in our family's heart by her little finger. Those sweet Asian eyes that bore holes into my heart could not have come from the genetic pool that Kevin and I have. So many other things that are mysteries to us about her -- her personality, her features -- could not be created from us. And that makes my heart so very sad.

Don't get me wrong; I am so not grieving the fact that I couldn't have another biological child. That's not what this is about. I feel a loss that I missed out on all the things related to her pregnancy, birth and first months (although, to be really honest, I certainly did not miss the sleepless nights of a newborn) of her life.

And this led me, obviously, to think about her birth mom. We are coming up on E's first birthday, and I absolutely know without a shadow of a doubt in my heart that on the other side of the world, there is a woman who is remembering what she was doing a year ago each day leading up to E's birth. She probably doesn't have anyone to talk to about it, and I imagine, that regardless of the situation surrounding her relinquishment of E., she has heartbreak over it. How could you not? She also has to have curiosity about where her daughter is, how her life is, if she is ok, what she looks like. I so wish she could know how very much she is loved and what her life is like and that she is ok -- more than ok -- happy (I hope) and content, well-fed, healthy, safe.

I don't think of her birth mom a lot because honestly, as each day passes and we get a little farther away from the initial adoption process, I feel more and more like she has just always been with us and that she is without a doubt our child and it is easy to forget about her beginnings. Is it because I want to? No, I don't think so; I think I have just so fully embraced her as my daughter that I can't imagine anyone else with any claims to her. Does this mean I won't share all I know about her early years? Absolutely not. Someone recently asked me if we were going to tell her she is adopted. I sat there for a mere second before I said, "Um, I think she'll know." *smile* And then I went on to say that we would absolutely tell her, that we have all the "books", "photos" and stories to help her to know about how she came into our family. But, in my mind, really that's all it is -- how she came into our family. Will she experience a sense of loss? Yes, I'm certain she will, and while that hurts me for her, I know it's a process she'll have to go through on her own someday, with our support, of course, but it's a part of her journey through life.

So, I'm rambling now and have gone off on lots of tangents -- all of which I wanted to record and hold on to for the future -- for both me and E.

"J"

A small hiatus from the letter of the day, but continuing on -- even if it takes me the rest of the year to get it done.

JOSH:
Just
Josh wants everything in life to be fair, or just. I try repeatedly to explain to him why it just isn't that way and how we are supposed to live our lives based on what God tells us and not on how others behave. It's a hard lesson for him because of his sense of what's fair and what ought to be. I wish, so much, that life were fair for him and that he didn't have to ever learn about how unfair life can be. But, the reality is that we live in a world filled with sin and things will not ever be "just" and fair and right here. I am thankful, however, that he knows the One who will eventually make all things right and fair and that he is "justified" in Him.

ELLIE:
"Jelly Belly", Jovial
One of Ellie's nicknames is "Jelly Belly" -- not that she really has a jelly belly, we just think it's cute -- Jelly Belly Ellie. I'm certain as a teen this will not go over well. I also call her "Pie", as in, "Hi Pie!" or "Puddin' Pie" and "E" and "EB - short for Ellie Belly". And, of course, the girl is definitely jovial. She is usually just cheerful as can be!

Ellie Meets Her Aunt, Uncle and Cousins

Today as I was finishing up my work at the consignment sale, Kevin, Josh and Ellie went to Nana's house to spend time with her and meet Uncle Steve, Aunt Angie and cousins Danielle, Lauren and Emily, and, of course, doggy cousin, Bella. Word has it that "a good time was had by all."

Here are photos from today. I'm thankful they'll be back in a few weeks so I can see them too! Uncle Steve leaves in a few weeks to spend a year in Qatar. We will miss him, but not nearly as much as I'm sure his "girls" will.

Hanging out with Uncle Steve and Aunt Angie ...

Cousin Emily gives Ellie her bottle...

Belly blows from Uncle Steve -- look at that giggle ...

Playing with Emily and Lauren ...

Four (of the five) cousins . . .

Kevin helping Dani (who doesn't like to have her picture made, apparently) with homework ...Emily and Ellie ...

Aunt Angie introduces Ellie to Bella. I'm thinking, by the look on her face, she wasn't too excited about Bella.

Lauren and Ellie

Family Day

Today we had family day since this was the last "official day" of spring break. We ended the day at ChuckECheese for Ellie's first trip there and Josh's, well, 100th or so. Josh loves to play the games and is excellent at it. He and I had some intense Skeeball competitions, along with some basketball and street ball challenges. I think we ended up tying pretty much every time.

Ellie was enamoured with it all, but seemed a bit overwhelmed (wonder why?) and rode the carousel ride, sat in the "ridey" car with CEC and even met him. She LOVED eating pizza and would grab the piece with those front five teeth and just tear her a piece off and chew on it. It was so funny!!

First ride on a carousel ...

Meeting Barney ... Notice how unsure she looks ...

Then She reaches out to touch him and it was all good ...

Josh playing one of the many games he played while there ...

Josh practicing up to take on Mom at Skeeball . . .

Same pattern with CEC ... check out that look ...

Touching again...

Enjoying pizza . . .

Ellie gives pizza a large clap-clap, showing her approval . . .

Look at how many tickets this boy won ...

Ellie meets CEC ...

Feeding the ticket machine . . .

How many did he end up with ...

717!! Incredible!

One of the BEST things about today was meeting up with A. and getting the shirts she monogrammed for Ellie. I am so absolutely IN LOVE with these shirts!!!! Check out her site at With Sugar on Top. She is so talented and creative!!

Tomorrow is the last day for consignment sale work -- sort day. I'm looking forward to fall already!!

One of the things we've discovered that Ellie loves is ice cream. She literally smacks her mouth when she's eating it. Tonight, on the way home, we stopped and got some ice cream and she was smacking away in her carseat, getting little bites along when I told her, "It's a good thing you live in America little girl or there would be no ice cream." Kevin and Josh reminded me that yes, there is ice cream in Kyrgyzstan but it costs about $10 for a pint, probably an unattainable sweet treat. I think John Wright needs to have a Simple Dream ice cream party this summer -- hand cranked maybe.

Loungewear? For Infants? Who Knew . . .

Loungewear: informal clothing

usually designed to be worn at home;

clothing suitable for relaxation;

Who knew that infants could have loungewear? Well, apparently they do. While shopping at the consignment sale, I bought Ellie some "loungewear". It said so -- right there on the tag. And then, when I checked out, everyone was telling me how much I'd love this particularly brand and how their kids had it and loved it. Again, who knew?



Let me tell you, if I could get any of this particular "loungewear" in adult sizes, I'd be all over it -- well, in this case, all in it. It's a silky, stretch fabric that made Ellie cackle when we rubbed it on her skin. There is a video if I can get it to upload. She is so much like her brother in liking "silky" things. *smile*



In the meantime, here are some photos of Ellie in her "loungewear". I really wanted one of her on a chaise lounge by the pool, talking on her pink cell phone with a glass of ice tea beside her, but, alas, she was not agreeable to all the work involved. *smile*


This is how Ellie sits all the time -- one leg stuck out and one behind her. Here, she is "phoning a friend", I suppose.


Check out this toothy grin -- lopsided as it is. She seems to be enjoying her loungewear.

Hanging out on the counter.


Discovering a tomato

Trying to eat a tomato

Putting it back down -- not so sure about the tomatoes yet.

And, last we have my big "FIND" at the consignment sale: a Gabiano romper, monogramed no less, with an "E", half price, $2.50. Regular retail on this item is around $44 -- not that I would have EVER paid that, but still a great bargain. I also got a cool hair clip with matching colors for $1.50. Entire ensemble: $4.00!! I'm going to get it washed up and let her wear it ASAP!!

"I"

"I" obviously skipped the letter I last night so now, tonight I suppose I need to do "I" and "J" to keep on schedule. Oh well -- to heck with schedules. Here's "I" for ya!

JOSH:
Interesting, Intelligent, Irreplaceable, Inventive

Josh keeps me hopping every single day with the "interesting" conversations we have. I have to be on my toes because I never know what he is going to come up with. This is relative to the fact that he is definitely intelligent, inquisitive and inventive. He is always coming up with these great ideas that make me think, "How can an 11 year old come up with those ideas?" He would be a great "inventor". But, most of all, he is irreplaceable to us. We love him so very much!

ELLIE:
Inquisitive, Irreplaceable, Incredible Blessing, Independent

Miss "I-Do-It-Myself" is definitely independent. I bought her some jammies a while back (size 2T I think so you won't see them for a while) from Old Navy that say "Miss Independence". Perfect fit for the girl who wants to do everything on her own and gets angry if she can't. She is also very inquisitive and wants to know everything you are doing, eating, where you are, how things work -- everything. It's amazing to watch her -- and tiring to keep up with her. She is also the most incredible blessing from God. We are so blessed to have this wee one in our lives; and like Josh, she is also irreplaceable.

Adventure Science Center

Today I took Josh and Ellie to the Adventure Science Center. We had a great time -- well, we didn't really enjoy the planetarium because Ellie was in a hyper state during that entire 40 minute show. THAT was interesting -- dark, quiet place (think movie theatre) and a squirmy baby. She did well at the beginning, but as it went on, she got sleepy and cranky.

But, all the rest of the time, we had great fun and hope to do it again soon. Typical Nashville weather -- yesterday 75, today 45. It was good to be able to be inside and still play and get out of the house.

If you can click on the picture above and enlarge it, the looks on their faces are priceless!!


Note Josh up in the tunnel. This was their "dinosaur" photos.

The Birthday Party Dilemma

So, for the past month I've been back and forth, back and forth, and then again, back and forth on the ubiquitous, ever-looming, "FIRST BIRTHDAY" and whether to party or not to party.

I have great reasons both ways. Josh had a huge first birthday party -- that he doesn't remember, but I do and we have photos. Will Ellie think she was less special because I didn't have her a large first birthday party?

Ellie has only been home four, almost five months. We've had parties and been given gifts and been showered with love. It's pretty soon for more "invites" from us.

Just thinking about the "standards" that would be expected for the first birthday party of "The Princess" is really draining me. It's honestly more than I think I can do right now since I feel like we are still "settling" into our new family AND recovering from everyone being sick the last several weeks.

Ellie needs nothing. We have more toys than we can walk around. Regular readers KNOW she has clothes until she's like three. What fun is it for partygoers to buy diapers and formula? Yeah, right -- none. We have actually told some folks who have asked that we'd like people who want to, to donate to John Wright's (a missionary in Krygyzstan) "Simple Dream" campaign to fund birthday parties for children who may never have one. If you'd like more information on that, click here. If you'd like to donate to that in honor of Ellie in lieu of a gift, I know that it would mean SO MUCH to her in years to come, but more so, to those children there. Visit the site, get the information and see if your heart asks you to do that -- we are not all called for the same missions in life. John has lots of dreams on this site that need to be filled. Browse around.

But, back to the dilemma, it's her first birthday and she's home and that should be celebrated. I've actually had people ask me to send them an invitation -- it's a sweet honor to know that people want to celebrate with us and that they love her so much, and I'd LOVE to, but my heart tells me that it's just not the right thing for her or us right now.

So, there you have it. Yes/no over and over again and still nothing has been decided. I did check into a location to have it and decided, to be real honest, I didn't want to spend $150 to rent a place. There is so much more good I could do with that amount of money. So, yes, we could have it at the house, but if you invite one then it calls for another and pretty soon, I've just outgrown the number of people the house will hold.

So, again, what to do. Everytime I think I have my mind made up -- I get more confused about it.

Ellie is really fond of Farmer Jason from NPT and he's going to be at the Belcourt Theatre on March 28 at 10. thought about asking a couple of her friends and their moms if they wanted to make a trip out for that and then maybe just having family and "the girls" over on Saturday evening for cake and ice cream. I'm leaning that way. I think I would rather wait until she's two to have a "larger" party. I want to "savor" and really enjoy her first birthday -- with just us and a very small group of family/friends so we all don't feel overwhelmed. She won't remember it. She would most certainly enjoy a bigger party next year.

So, please, don't be offended if you think we've left you out of the party invites. We truly have not, I just think we are "going small" for the first one. Stay tuned!

Moments

There are times when I'm doing something so very simple with Ellie that my heart is flooded with sadness for the families still waiting to bring their babies home. The most recent was playing "eat your hand". One of Ellie's favorite things to do is inspect your mouth. She pokes those tiny hands into your mouth and then starts inspecting your teeth, touching them, pulling on them. Then, if you want a really good belly laugh from her, you can lightly close your mouth on her hand and do a little "growl" and she just cackles. You can do it over and over and over and she never tires of it. Every time she giggled like that on our last time, I thought of the babies who need to have those experiences with their families. If the people making the decisions about this process really cared about these children, they would let them go HOME. It breaks my heart. Truly.

Another moment I want to capture and need to try to get on video is Ellie and her sunglasses. Now, mind you, she doesn't want to WEAR them (of course not, right??), but if I put them on and say "Hollywoooooood" and make a face, she'll take them off my face and then SCRUNCH her face up in anticipation and I'll put them on her face and she'll look through them and rip them off her face. It's a riot!!

Lord, please, please, bring those babies home soon.

1 Chronicles 5:20

They cried out to God during the battle,

and he answered their prayer because they trusted in Him.

"H"

"Hey!" blog readers!! I'm loving this alphabet theme, if for nothing more than giving me some "headings".


I'm sitting here watching the taped version of Americ*n Id*l and watching the bio of Lil R*unds. I just LOVE her and she can really sing!! And how about Danny Gokey? Hotchawowow what a performance. I can't wait to see all of tonight's show because I just LOVE pretty much all of the performers!!


JOSH:
Headful of Hair, Helpful, Handy


Josh has always had a lot of hair on his head. It is so full and grows so quickly that we are constantly trying to get it "in order". But, I am thankful that he has great hair!! He is also turned into a very helpful guy with Ellie and around the house since Ellie came home. And, probably the best "H" word for him is handy. He is such a handiman type of guy. He can fix anything around the house, he puts together these huge Lego sets that make me shake my head. He can put together pretty much anything out of a box and this has been quite "helpful" to me on many occasions. When we get something that requires being put together and Kevin isn't home, Josh can usually always get it together before I can read the directions.


ELLIE:
Happy (well, most of the time), Healthy, Headstrong


Ellie is (normally) one of the happiest little girls I've ever seen. However, lately, as she's been sick and now seems to be getting about 100 teeth at once, she's most UN-happy. I love the fact that she is normally so "happy-go-lucky" and smiling, despite her difficult start. She is also been blessed with pretty much great health. We are so blessed that she was deemed healthy after our initial thoughts that she was not a healthy baby. And, we are happy that she is getting over her cold/viral infection/ear infections. And last, the girl is unbelievably* headstrong. She knows what she wants and just doesn't stop to get it. Every day I see her climbing over things, going under things commando style and throwing a hissy fit when she is on her way to something she wants. It's going to be interesting watching this little one grow up.


And, here are a couple of photos from today. I was doing something when Mary (Kevin's mom) told me to look at Ellie. Well, lo and behold, she was laid down on the floor with a blanket watching "Super Why" like she was a big girl.




And here is what Josh took on today -- reorganizing all his baseball and football cards. He has a bazillion of them!!


And last, but definitely the most important part of this post: "HAPPY" birthday to sweet little Cora who is celebrating her first birthday in heaven with Jesus. Visit her parent's blog to read how they celebrated her first birthday. Hug your child a little tighter today in honor of Cora, ok?