"Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out"
lyrics, Alannis Morrisette, Ironic
As the seasons start to change we come up, today, on our nine-month anniversary of our Log-In-Date to China for our adoption of Ellie. Nine months? If I were pregnant I would be really, really close to bringing home a child. Ironic. I'm not -- either pregnant or close to bringing home a child. Please, don't think I'm bitter, because I'm not. I'm just a little sad about that.
But, I am very happy that our family has decided to give God a big profession of faith in our decision (have we decided?? yes, I think we have) to step out in faith (I assure you it's faith, read on) and move our adoption journey from one agency to another, from one country to another and from our way to His.
We have tried to hard and so long to do this by ourselves. We wanted to acknowledge that it was His calling and His plan, but "our" way. That's obviously not working for us -- or Him.
For quite a while I have felt very unsettled in our China decision based on the long referral time. I kept "looking and looking". I like to say I felt compelled, almost driven, to find a country and an agency that were both quicker and trustworthy. I think God has led me there. I am very impressed with the agency I have been talking with and emailing. Kevin and I have prayed about this decision. On paper, it seems like we are definitely biting off more than we can chew, but to God, it is nothing. Our adoption fees will be significantly more than for China. We had a loan secured for China that we cannot use with this agency or this country. We know we are signficantly short on fees based on where we are right now, but it feels right. It's a peaceful feeling -- a feeling of, "WOW, this is coming quickly. We have to get to work." It's feeling of, "WOW! I can't wait to see how God is going to do this."
God has been working hard with my heart lately. He spoke to me at church on Sunday (literally) through Brother David. Those who were there probably thought I had done something really bad to be called out by name in church and to be crying the way I was. No, Brother David, God's timing is not our own. His timing rarely makes sense to us, but I am willing to listen and follow Him whereever He leads. God continues to remind me that I am a part of a body, not an individual, and that it is ok to ask others for help in order to allow them to be part of a blessing and in order to prove HIS ability to provide for me using whatever means He chooses. He has been talking to me about my pride -- my desire to "do it all on my own." No man is an island.
So, today, I branched out a little and asked for some help from my "safe" friends. A simple request to help me with our yardsale (to help raise some of the money for this adoption). WOW!! Was I bombarded with offers. Of the several things I asked for help with, I had offers, within minutes, to wash tubs of clothes, sort through the storage building, to price, to get boxes and hangers, to give us items to sell, to write my employment letter, to get my police clearance letters, to notarize and to have a donut sale. WOW!!! MINUTES -- just for asking.
IMAGINE what He can do for the rest of our needs -- our needs to secure funds for the balance of the referral fee and for our travel fees. I just need to ask, to lay down the pride and ask for help. I need to give up my "weary" and my "tired" and take the rest He offers -- the help. Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)
So, we are changing. Ellie will now come from Vietnam. She is likely already born. Our agency incidates after our dossier goes to Vietnam, we will likely receive a referral in 2-4 months. Travel will come 4-8 weeks later. We could be home by early spring (Feb/Mar) if we get on it. I am processing documents to include in our dossier while I wait to hear how God is going to help with the funds. We do not feel we can sign a contract and commit until we have a firm commitment for all the funds we will need based on the speed of the referral and travel. We are over half way there. God will provide.
Beth Moore noted that God has cattle on a thousand hills and that all He has to do is sell a few cows. I can't wait until I hear there's going to be an auction!! "Ironically" I am studying -- this week -- about God's provision of manna and quail to the Isrealites while they were wandering in the desert (this is where I am I ASSURE YOU! with regards to this adoption). He will provide what we need.
"For I know the PLANS I have for you," declares the Lord, "PLANS to prosper you and not harm you, PLANS to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (my life verse). You will understand it's relevance as this PLAN unfolds.
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