Being a Mom

One of the best -- and sometimes worst -- parts of my day are the "mom" parts. Today is a random day in the life of being a mom and some of the best and worst parts:

[From the bathroom] "Mama"
"What, Joshua?"
"Knock, knock"
"Who's there"
"Centipede"
"Centipede who?"
"Santa peed on the Christmas tree."
Raucous laughter from the bathroom!

Currently, there is an EXTREMELY loud version of a combination of Alvin's Christmas song and I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus coming from the shower. Prior to his getting in the shower, I had to go through the regular litany:
"What do you use on your hair?"
"Shampoo."
"What do you wash while you are in the shower?"
"Both pits, my bottom and my feet."
"ALL your body, Joshua -- WITH soap."
"Oh ... yeah."

As the shower cuts off, he says, "Mama, I need a towel." *sigh* After drying and getting out of the shower, I hear, "Man, now that's good looking." What???? I remind him (not for the first time tonight), "Dry your feet off before you leave the bathroom." This is needed or I will flatten out in the hall on the puddles of water in the path to his room.

When I picked him up from school today, I got the pleasure of explaining to him why it's not appropriate to call people, "Gay" and why it is most especially not appropriate in your church class on Wednesday night. (Granted, he was called a name or two as well, but ...) Now, first, he doesn't know what gay means. He doesn't even know the basis of what it means. So, I try to explain that in the most delicate way I can without raising too many more questions.

Then there's the morning routine. His alarm goes off at 6:40. He promptly turns it off. I'm not even sure he wakes up to do it. At 7:00 I try to wake him up by rubbing his back and giving him "sqwooshes". I go to pick out a shirt and I say, "Do you want to wear your school sweatshirt and t-shirt, yea or nay?" I hear something that is muffled, but sounds like, "Yea." so I start to get it out at which point, he becomes FULLY awake to tell me, NO!! I said, "Nay". Grumpy bear did not want to get up. At this point, he's own his own in the picking out clothes department. The reminders start, "Brush your teeth and put on deodorant." This will be repeated no less than 5 times before he leaves. At 7:30, amongst choruses of "We're going to be LATE!!!" we manage to usually leave the house. Most of the time we even have everything we need -- but it takes three of us to get it.

But, in the midst of the drama, there is laughter. In the midst of the repitiveness, there is that which breeds a familiar sameness about each day that I will look back on in a few years and long for. I laughingly tell people I was really sad when he grew out of the TV show, "Hey Arnold" because I really (really!) liked that show - "Hey, Footballhead."

Tonight as we were tromping through Wal-mart, we were jokingly bickering with each other and Kevin said, "Can't you two just get along? What's your problem?" Simultaneously, without thinking or looking at each other, we both said, "You" and then burst into peals of laughter and high fives. Yes, he is most definitely my son. And I wouldn't trade a minute of being his mom for anything in the world.

To close his day, he just walked in as I'm writing and gave me a big hug and kisses -- what else would a mom want?

The "Good" Things

If I did "Favorite Photo Friday" like I've seen on some blogs, these would be this week's photos:

My two favorite "babies" resting together is priceless. It took Punch many YEARS to get comfortable with Joshua. She's 13 1/2 years old and just the most calm, loving kitty who LOVES nothing better than to lay in a lap and sleep. Josh is the perfect bed for her in the afternoons after school.

And this one ...

I took this picture, unbeknownst to Kevin, at the Vikings football bowl game the weekend before Thanksgiving. Doesn't he look intent? He's such a good husband and father. Joshua and I are really blessed. Oh, and we won that day!

My Secret Pal ROCKS - The Lathams

Today I was sitting on the couch (looking like something the cat drug up mind you) when the mail lady comes to the door with a package. Had she not SEEN me, I would have hid I looked so bad! BUT... she had a package so I ignored my horrible looking self and opened the door to get it.
It was from my Secret Pal -- Jennifer. I'm sorry I have NO PATIENCE for packages so I immediately ripped into it. Granted, I had the forethought to photograph it first, during and after. The packages themselves were beautiful.

I was stopped short by this little label:

For: Ellie - She is real -- she's getting presents. *smile* I just looked at it for a long time. And then, I got past it and ripped it open!! Jennifer had sent a lovely doudou from Kaloo, a Vietnamese book called Ten Mice for Tet, and a Siev pull along Sheep.

There was another present for Joshua so I controlled myself and waited to take it to him when I picked him up from school. Being much like his mother, he immediately ripped into the package.

Now, let me pause here to say, either Jennifer did some research, or the person matching us up did some hard thinking OR God just had a great time with this BECAUSE, Joshua got Minnesota Vikings hat -- a "real" one from someone who lives in Minnesota!!!! For those of you who don't know, Josh's football team (since he was 6) has been the Vikings! He was just on cloud nine and promptly told me that I'd have to take his picture with his hat and his new Vikings backpack.

Here's Joshua's reaction:

Thank you so much, Jennifer for remembering Joshua. It makes him feel special and not left out.

I'm remiss to admit I have not mailed yours yet. It will come in two packages. I will mail the one from my house out tomorrow.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!! You ROCK!!!

Jennifer is adopting from Vietnam. You can visit her blog here.

The Battle Continues

We continue to battle with our agency (first one) to "allow" us to do a concurrent/interim adoption. We were initially told CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) didn't allow it. Then, November 6, when CCAA made an official announcement that thy allowed it, I asked again. Then, they said they were reviewing the policy. Over a month later, we are now trying to pursue Kyrgyzstan and NEED our homestudy updated and we are told we have to pull our dossier from China and I am refusing. We are at a standoff, I suppose. Now, today, I'm hearing they allow it on a case-by-case basis but no one can determine why exactly we can't. Our local director is questioning it for us.

When I'm frustrated or just need to work something out, I write. I have written my last "piece" about this to this agency. We are consulting outside help in this if we do not get an approval by Friday. We've had all we feel led to take. I want to add the two things I wrote (less agency names) so I will have it when I look back on our journey.

If someone were threatening Josh, I wouldn't hesitate to stand up until I was literally flattened out. The same is true for Ellie even though she is not here yet. I have to stand up for her -- for her right to have a family, and for us to have her.

***

My heart breaks each time I get emails forwarded by you from [agency] and I want to share with you why.

146 Million Orphans go to sleep each night without a family to love them. In Kyrgyzstan alone, one orphanage is overrun with scabies because they can’t afford a washer or dryer to wash clothes in hot enough water to kill the bugs. They can’t afford medicine to treat the babies – little bitty babies with bugs and sores.

In China, millions of babies lie in cribs and know that no one will come when they cry.

In Haiti, there are an estimated 10,000 children living on the streets. There are 1.2 MILLION vulnerable children there with poor health, little if no health care, and very poor living conditions.

Currently in Vietnam, families live on as little as $28 per month. Many place their children in orphanages out of severe desperation. Street orphans are routinely seen digging through garbage in search of enough food for the day in the Lam Dong province.

In Russia, the death rate is almost twice that of the general population due to living conditions. About 15,000 children (16-18) leave Russian orphanages each year. Of these, 5,000 are unemployed, some 6,000 are homeless, around 3,000 resort to crime, approximately 1,500 commit suicide, and roughly half the girls are forced into prostitution.

The conditions are so bad in one Bulgarian orphanage that UNICEF has been called in. One mother called it a concentration camp and stated that healthy children were developing both mental and physical disabilities due to lack of care. BBC’s Kate Blewitt wrote: During the filming of Bulgaria’s Abandoned Children – there were times when I sat inside Mogilino - with Sean (the cameraman) and I would look around the room at the children and think "How am I going to make a film about the lives of these children? They don’t do anything. They don’t go anywhere. They don’t speak. They don’t smile. They don’t play. Nothing changes. Nothing happens. They are warehoused human beings. Rocking. Rocking. Rocking. Self harming. Sitting. Sitting. Sitting.

Now we stop and we think … there are families who WANT to help, want to adopt. But we, as only ONE family, continue to hit brick wall after brick wall after brick wall with our own agency. And while I don’t think it’s the [local] office, I know that it’s [headquarters]. For POLICY? Do you think that child who will commit suicide when no one adopts him and he’s turned out at 16 with nothing and no one will care that [agency] was an one of the agencies that said this, “agencies have their own ethical standards, mostly driven by the best interest of a child or other cultural elements.”? I’m really thinking not.

Do you think that the baby lying in a crib with scabies cares about this: We ask for workers and families to be patient as we move forward with all our "ducks in a row" so that the best interest of the child can continue to be provided, all while servicing families with these additional requests. Again, I’m thinking not.

As I'm sure you and your families can understand... No, I DON’T understand – that’s the problem. [Agency] is an INTERNATIONAL adoption agency whose mission statement says, [deleted for agency confidentiality] Now, no, I am not a social worker, but I am a Christian and I do know Jesus Christ and I can’t in my wildest imagination consider how denying our family the right to adopt while we wait is “manifesting the love and compassion of Jesus Christ”. I can’t imagine how allowing EVEN ONE CHILD to wait for a home when a family is BEGGING to get them is manifesting the love of Jesus.

I really, really would like someone who is in charge of making POLICY with [agency] to explain how their “be patient and wait” policy is helping fulfill their mission. And I’d really like, just one time, for someone sitting in an office, with heat and air, medical insurance, a car, food for every meal, Christmas presents under a tree, a house to live in and money in the bank to explain to me how they can, in good conscience, deny a child that same opportunity.

I know these facts are nothing new to you all – I know this is what you deal with every day. And I know that you have statistics of thousands of children who were brought home successfully each year. For each of those children, I am eternally grateful. I only long to add one more to that number.


******

We will not withdraw from China when China, as a country, has issued a formal statement that interim adoptions are ok. I think this will need to be addressed with [headquarters] as they have had quite a while (over a month now) to make a ruling on this since we asked November 6. It seems QUITE unfair that they would prohibit us from continuing with an interim adoption based on a policy that they can’t come to an official ruling on and for a couple who are looking at a minimum of 2 more years wait time. Historically, China has not referred more than 8 LIDs at a time since March 2007. Prior to that, there has not been more than 19 days referred at a time since September of 2005. How in the world can an agency expect us to continue to wait for a child with these type numbers? What is more important to [agency] – finding homes for children, or implementing and following policy? As you can tell, I’m quite frustrated about this.
As you will remember, we never signed any agreement and do not have a contract stating that this was prohibited when we submitted our dossier to China. This was never explained to us or presented to us in any form until March 2007 – three months after our LID. I have the email we were sent at that time. This cannot be a “by the way” policy if we were never informed prior to sending our dossier to China. I think now is the time we will require a ruling on this. We can’t continue to put our lives on hold because a decision cannot be made when there is a specific ruling on this from the country and when we were told that the only reason [agency] had this policy was because China forbade it.

I feel like I continue to beat the proverbial “dead horse” on this. We SIMPLY want to provide a home to an orphan like God commands,

“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: visit [love, care for, provide homes for] orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world” James 1:27.

Exodus 22:22 states: “You shall not afflict any orphan or widow.”
God furthermore gave instructions to the Israelites in Deuteronomy 16:11, “The Levite [priest] because he has no portion or inheritance among you, the alien, the orphan and the widow who are in your town, shall come and eat and be satisfied, in order that the LORD your God may bless you in all the work of your hands that you do.”


Deuteronomy 27:19 states, “Cursed is he who distorts the justice due an alien, orphan and widow.”

Isaiah 1:17 says, “Learn to do good. Seek justice. Reprove ruthlessness. Defend the orphan. Plead for the widow.”


GOD has called our family – all Christian, really -- to do what we seek to do. HE has asked us--to go not once but twice. How can a Christian agency determine that this is not in the best interest of the children it seeks to serve? How can providing a family for a child be WRONG – especially in this case?

Please know that I offer all of this only in the desire to bring home children. I understand that corporate policies exist to protect children, and if we, in any way thought that by attempting this interim adoption that we would be harming either child, we would never consider it.

Work with us, please?

Ellie's First Ornaments

When I was pregnant with Joshua I bought ornaments for the tree for his first year and every year since then we've gotten him an ornament that represented something during that year of his life. He has so many now that he has his own tree each year.

On Monday night, while we were out, we got two ornaments for Ellie.

I collect Snowbabies, so the first ornament was a tiny Snowbaby sleeping, holding a small pink blanket with the words Little Blessing. We have worked SO HARD to get her here. 2008 ... that's going to be her year to come home!!

Joshua found the other ornament. We were at Bath and Body Works and he found a tiny lamb. Since we plan to do her room in a Lamb theme, we got it, along with the BIG one (who appears more the size of a pig than a lamb) for her room.

The lambs are SO soft! I know Ellie will love them. Joshua has hung the ornaments on the tree.

My Sweet Little Man's Christmas Present to Me

My little boy is growing into a little man.

We were on our way into town tonight to do some Christmas shopping. There are a few “hard” people still left on the list and some people that I just hadn’t had time to pick up the things I need for. We had a couple of discount cards to Lowes and went there to get some shelving for Joshua’s room (all those sports trophies are taking up a lot of room). Afterwards, we decided to go to the mall to get Subway for dinner and get a few other gifts.

Joshua, out of the blue, at Lowes said, “I know what I want to get you for Christmas.” I said, “What???” He said, “Oh, I can’t tell you; it’s a surprise.” Then he told Kevin, who looked really surprised and said, “That’s a really good idea Joshua. I’m surprised you came up with that on your own.” Then Joshua pointed out something that he thought he might want to get Kevin in Lowes, but it seemed to just be a spur of the moment thing so I didn’t really think he was serious about my “gift idea” either.

So…. when we get to the mall, he tells me that he and Kevin need to shop alone. I tell them I’ll browse around in JCPenney. During this time, I call mama to see what Grandmother wants for Christmas, and I browsed a long time, it seemed. Then Joshua called and said they were done. He looked like the cat that had swallowed the canary when they showed back up.

Now, mind you, I thought most likely I was going to get something like a stuffed animal, snow globe, some bath soap, you know the sort of thing – a ten-year-old boy gift.

NEVER in my wildest imagination …

When we got home, he just couldn’t wait. He begged to give it to me tonight. I told him it would be better to wait until Christmas. He just couldn’t stand it, so I said ok.

IMAGINE MY SURPRISE, when he gave me a LOVELY 10K Gold Heart locket with FOUR openings for photos. I almost cried. He counted the three of us, “One (daddy), two (me), three (himself) and one space for Ellie. Me and her will go in the two middle ones.”God love his little heart. I’m tearing up now as I think about it. What a confirmation from God through the mouth of my sweet little man who gave me the most WONDERFUL gift I remember having ever gotten.

Kevin says it was all his idea and he picked it out on his own. (Of course, Kevin did all the PAYING of it, but that doesn’t matter). He also said he had wanted to go to Kays. That explains the sudden interest in the Kay Jewelers commercial and his running around singing, “Every kiss begins with Kay.” (And I thought he was just thinking about the girls!) It’s beautiful.

He has such a kind heart.

Good thing Kevin and I aren’t exchanging gifts this year – I don’t think he could top this one.

Our weekend

Ok, so I have NO PHOTOS from the weekend, but we had a nice time going to Kevin's mom's house for our Christmas dinner (man, that woman can cook!!!). We went to church this morning and then went back to watch the Christmas drama this evening. It was really good.

We worked on our application to our new agency. I hope to be able to mail it off mid-week. I need to whip by the Vital Records and get a copy of our marriage license (to get the number off it!!!), stop by BCS to drop off the papers to get our home study update in process and figure out when/how we need to get our fingerprints renewed. I need to print photos of all of us to send in with the application and then, I think we are ready. And that's just the application. *smile*

Our understanding is that once we sign the contract and pay the initial fee, we will be "on the list" awaiting a referral. We will then begin to gather all the documents they need for our "official" dossier. We should expect a referral in under 6 months. Children are referred as young as 3 months of age. We will then travel for 10 days to Kyrgyzstan for visitation with Ellie. Unfortunately, we will then return home for 6 weeks before we return to pick her up. Only one parent is required to travel for the second trip. We would like for all of us to go to pick her up. We will see how that goes. Estimated time for completion of adoption for this program from this country is under 8 months.

Time to "Step off the Ledge"

Today, Kevin and I made the decision to sign the contract for our interim adoption -- to take a huge leap of faith, knowing we don't have all the funds to complete it yet -- to step off the ledge (our own comfortable place) and expect the bridge (God's provision) to be there. We plan to mail our packet off Monday. More about what all that means later.

PRAY for us. *smile*

This is Why --- Adoption Video

The Nashville waiting parents group I belong to sent out an email recently about a video a mother created for her church service. I watched and and KNEW that it was the perfect tool to share with those who wanted to know why we feel led to adopt. Please watch it. I hope it will move you as much as it did us. How the lives have changed. How MANY more still wait.

The Present

I got an email from my mom today asking me what I wanted for Christmas. For a while now I haven't been able to think of anything I want for Christmas.

You see, what I really want is for my daughter, Ellie, to come home. All the material presents in the world just don't seem to hold weight compared to that. This year I have found my heart more interested in how I can help others who don't have and who need rather than to get presents or spend large sums of money on things that my child, friends, parents, etc. don't really need. I thought of our angel we adopted this year. I'd rather spend money on him and his family. I know they need it. I thought of another family we will help. I thought of the Lottie Moon offering for foreign missions. I continually think of all the babies and children all over the world who will get nothing. I think of those same people who don't even have the basic necessities of life. How can a new coffee maker or pair of pajamas make me happy? It's just stuff.

And then, it hit me, like it never has before -- my joy this Christmas is truly seeing other people accept the gifts that I offer to them. I think I know, a little anyway, how Jesus must feel everytime someone accepts His gift of salvation. He doesn't want anything from us - except for us to accept His present. He is The Gift.

It was an "a ha" moment. It has made Christmas better, already, than in years past. I still can't think of a single thing I'd like for Christmas. Blessed? -- unbelievably so.

Granted, I still would like to have Ellie home for Christmas, but that, my friends, would take a true Christmas miracle.

Children's Christmas Production - Mystery in the Manger

"The name's Blonde, Jane Blonde"
"Ooooooh"
"Aaaaaaah"

I guess you would just have to been there to "get" those lines from the children's church production of "Mystery in the Manger" at church last night. Joshua and his "merry band of brothers (and sisters)" performed songs, choreography, drama, dancing and sign language during this one hour drama explaining who Jesus really is to reporter "Jane Blonde".

I was so proud of Joshua. He did really well singing, doing the movements and as the stage hand bringing in and taking out the manger. But, as he explained to me, "The manger could have walked in on it's four legs if it had been alive." WHAT????

Here are some of the photos from the night.

Singer extraordinaire

Stage hand (center - carrying the manger)

Blonde -- Jane Blond

In response to sdbees comment below: Yes, it was very well received. Our children's group had not done anything for several years and we had a great turnout. The kids enjoyed it and it was a great production. I didn't have an email or link for you so I hope you find this. Blessings!

"Do You Ever Think Maybe God Doesn't Want You to Adopt?"

We get questions. We get lots of questions about our adoption. Many of them are the same questions I probably would have asked three years ago. I still remember asking a really, really dumb question of a friend who had just adopted her daughter from Korea. I won't tell you what it was, but I remember. I'm embarrassed by it now, so I listen to the questions and try my best to answer and educate at the same time.

Today, I was talking to someone about our adoption and about all we've gone through during our three year journey to Ellie. I don't know they whys of why we've gone through so much. I jokingly tell people that if you want to shut down an adoption program, just put me in the line. Of course, it's a joke. We've tried domestic and then moved to international and China. Then we looked into and were going to change to Taiwan, but while we waited and discussed and talked, the wait times got too long. Then we looked into Vietnam. We were ready to sign a contract with our agency but the loan got stalled. By the time we signed the loan, the agency had put a halt to new applications due to the problems the U.S. and Vietnam are having and the potential the countries will not renew their agreement and adoptions between Vietnam and the U.S. might stop again. So now we have some more choices to consider -- a new country, put our dossier on "hold" for Vietnam and wait it out to see what happens. As Kevin says, "We always have China." :-) We do have China, and we feel that no matter what we will go to China when our "number comes up". However, in the mean time, we research and consider other countries and other options.

So, in knowing this entire story, along with many other details that are too lengthy to include, this person asked, "Have you considered that maybe God doesn't want you all to have another baby?" Hmmmm... how do you answer this? I answered, simply, "Yes, I have considered it, but I don't feel that's what He is saying to me."

And then, I pondered. I searched my heart. I looked for the real answer. I need to know in my heart what the answer is and I need to be able to share that with others. And now, I know.

I am a simple girl from Tennessee. I have never lived anywhere but Tennessee. I don't like change -- in fact, I loathe change. I said forever that I didn't want any children, then I thought, "Well, maybe one." Then that was enough, plenty, even. I have travelled to Canada and Mexico, but that's as close to "international" as it gets for this girl. I'm sheltered, I tell you.

So, explain to me, how this person described above feels the absolute call in her heart to travel to a foreign country (where they don't speak ENGLISH mind you), possibly multiple times, to bring home not one baby, but now TWO (if we do an interim adoption and China) and become a multi-racial family. Have I lost my mind??? No, I have heard the voice of God in my heart for children in very poor countries -- children who will never know the love of a family, the hugs of a mother when they are sick, the attention of a father, the safety of a big brother, children who will never know the LOVE of the one true God and might never have the opportunity to experience the saving grace of His Son, Jesus Christ. This is not a place I could have gotten to on my own -- this is so foreign (literally) to me, that it has to be from God.

Allow me to share some sobering information about this country's children:

• Children in the country we are considering do not have diapers in the orphanages. Receiving blankets are tied around them for diapers.
• Children in this country work in the streets as young as seven -- weighing people, shining shoes, begging for food, working as porters, selling newspapers, etc. These children often earn about 18 cents a day.
• There are thought to be between 600-1500 street children out of a population of 500,000. These are CHILDREN with no families or with families who are so poor their chidlren are the only way they have of earning income.
• Children in this country work in dangerous coal mines to earn up to $3 per day to support their families
• Orphanages often have no medicines, none, to treat children when they are sick.
• One orphanage was noted, prior to recent aid, to have been using the same sheets and towels for 17 years. The manager cried when they received new ones.
• Daily wages at the orphanages are around $1 per day.

God is love. I John 4:7-8 is a verse Joshua learned in school. I remember memorizing it with him. It says,

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love.

What is adoption but offering love to a child? Let the children come to me. How could God put this in our hearts, three years ago, if He did not have a plan to make this happen?

Most people I know don't have a longing to adopt a child. I think God has given us the pieces of desire that He felt we could handle a little at a time. "Ok, they will be ok with adopting so we'll put it in their heart to adopt from the U.S. Stall that process for a while. Now they've had some time and feel they can overcome the hurdles to adopt from another country so let's move on. Stall China for a few years so we can get them comfortable going to another country." And, on and on it goes, until we feel a comfort level with going where He originally wanted us to go. Remember, I'm a girl who doesn't like change. It takes a while for me to get comfortable with where I really need to be. God knows how I am made and He knows that telling me I'm going to need to go to a third world country (or two) and adopt a child is not something I would have been able to accept three years ago. We've come a long way.

But, we have a long way to go. The reason for the question from this person was the jaw dropping news of how much money we are going to need to complete this adoption. (I will share in another post why agencie indicate adoptions cost so much). While we have paid for our China adoption and with God's help have raised an additional $12,000 for this adoption, we are still very short in funds to complete this adoption. Signing a contract and following God's direction on this one will require a huge leap of faith on our part and a huge belief in God's ability to provide the needed funds prior to our referral and travel. And, like I have told Kevin, "I know God is big enough for this job. I just hope my faith is big enough for this job." Hang on folks, God is about to grow me some more. :-)

This adoption has been the most maturing experience God has ever used in my life. I am not the same, self-centered, materialistic, worldly person I was before I started this. (My geography and world knowledge has certainly increased as well). God has used this to teach me about the extreme poverty in our world, the plight of people in countries who are trying to just exist, the politics of foreign countries, the absolute frustrating idea of superiority the U.S. has toward other countries, and where to find small remote countries on the map. :-) He has allowed me to form friendships with people all over the country that I would have never had the benefit and pleasure of knowing. He has allowed me to become more appreciative of the blessing that is my son. He has softened my heart, reduced my pride, made me more than I was before, broken my heart and loved me beyond measure. He will continue to do more, I know.

So, do I think God doesn't want me to adopt? With all my heart I know that He does. I know it like I know Him. I know it as surely as I know that I am saved and will spend eternity in heaven. I know it with every breath I take. I know this girl, my daughter. I know Ellie. She is in my heart and is my child. She is not a concept; she is not just a dream that can be tossed aside because of the difficulty or seeming impossibility of the situation. She is a child that needs a mother, a father, a brother -- a family. I can't save them all; but I can save one -- or two. It is all He has asked of me. My part is small -- my part, right now, is faith.

The Last 30 of my 30s

Well, I'm well into my last thirty days as a "thirty-something" (anyone remember that show??). I've spent a lot of time over the last year in angst about 40. I think I mentally went ahead and hit 40 at 39 so now 40 probably won't be so bad. I don't FEEL 40, so how can I be??? I don't LOOK 40 (NO comments on this one, ok???) so how can I be???

But, it is just a number on a scale of years that God has blessed me. I am not privy to know how far along the lifeline this number sits, but I know that if the next 40 are as wonderful as the first 40, I will be blessed out of my mind.

So... what will I do with my last 24 days of "thirty-dom"??

• Attent a football banquet for Joshua


• Attend a Christmas production for Joshua and Kevin at church


• Attend a Christmas play at church


• Attend Joshua's school production of the Chipmunks song (I'm REALLY not clear on this one)


• Work at the Santa shop at school


• Work in the field inspecting homes and completing paperwork and begin to do QA again


• Begin (again) an adoption process with my hubby from a country and agency that we will share with everyone at some point in the future


• Begin developing a funding plan for this adoption and prayer for God's blessing on it and us in our efforts to bring Ellie home in 2008. I have faith in my heart that this is going to be our year.


• Christmas shop with my friend Susan


• Visit my 80 year old grandmother (and friends) at the nursing home and know that I'm half way to her age


• Attend Kevin's Christmas party


• Lead my final Beth Moore class at church


• Enjoy Christmas break with Joshua (which will hopefully include our annual trip to Opry Mills for a day of fun and movies)


• Take Joshua to Phillips Toy Mart (a place he's REALLY wanting to go)


• Enjoy Christmas Eve candlelight service at church


• Be thankful that God, in His ultimate wisdom, chose His Son to be born so that I could be with Him forever.


• Be thankful that I can share Jesus's birthday (my birthday is Christmas day and while I know this probably is not His REAL birthday, I can enjoy that this is when we celebrate it)


• Enjoy opening the Advent calendar with Joshua every day.


• Enjoy Santa Claus for another year


• Begin taking Joshua to basketball practice


• Wait for Michelle to have her baby (on Christmas Day, of course)


• Mail packages to my sister and niece in Florida


• Mail Christmas cards
• Enjoy a "Girls Night Out" Christmas event
  
• Study the Bible


• Read books with Joshua


• Watch TV some


• Read blogs and research adoption and email and call blog friends


• Cook meals, clean house, wash clothes, feed cats, feed dogs


• Love my family


• Laugh, cry, pray, love

AND HOPEFULLY, eat at the Waffle House on my birthday night. It's been a tradition for YEARS!!! and I love it. Anyone who wants to join us, let me know. It's great fun!

WHEW, I'll feel 40 after that, won't I? And, I wouldn't trade a minute of all of that to be younger than 40 for a day!

Peppermint Pearls Secret Pal

I belong to to a wonderful Yahoo group, Dec2006DTC, which is a group of families from around the U.S. (I don't think we have any international members, but we might??) who all were DTC (dossier to China) in December of 2006. It includes people with LID (log-in-dates) from November 2006 to about February 2007.

We have named ourselves the "Peppermint Pearls" -- Peppermint for December and Pearls for the product from China.

We just started a new Secret Pal swap and today was the day to open our first presents. Here's a picture of ALL the stuff our pal sent us. We are OVERWHELMED!!! with the amount of goodies we got.

We got:

• Hardback book of The Night Before Christmas
• A door hanger that plays Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree
• An "Oh Deer" jelly bean dispenser
• A Santa journal
• A sippy cup for Ellie
• Two bibs for Ellie
• Three peppermint sticks
• Two boxes of Christmas Little Debbie snacks
• A dog notepad
• Two packs of chocolate pudding
• Two Christmas cups with straws
• Some Christmas baby bows
• Three tins each containing a large chocolate chip cookie, and
• A cute stuffed Christmas dog

I'll be lucky to salvage much of it for Ellie. :-) I've told Joshua that the book, sippy cup, hairbows, stuffed dog and bibs are all for Ellie. The rest is up for grabs.

THANK YOU Secret Pal, if you are reading our blog!! Can't wait until next swap!!

Happy Anniversary

Thirteen years ago tonight, I married my friend and my love, Kevin, in a ceremony at Grace Baptist Church in Pleasant View.

Much like tonight, it was raining and cold.

Now, thirteen years later, so much has changed, and yet, so little has. We have been blessed with the love and life of our son. We have been blessed to still have our parents with us, and my grandmother. We have had good years and bad years, but it has all been for the best. We have found and love our church, First Baptist Joelton.

Ironically, we still live in the same house we moved into when we got married. It holds such great memories.

Happy anniversary, Kevin. I love you as much, and more, as I did on the night of November 26, 1994.

The Girls Go Shopping - "No Need to Fight, I'll Just Take It"

Instead of our annual weekend trip, this year "the Girls" decided to tackle the Day After Thanksgiving shopping -- BLACK FRIDAY.

We had made plans for quite a while and decided we would leave at 4:00 a.m. Because I knew we would need space, I offered to drive the van. It's just sitting in the drive anyway. Before the day was over, I was calling it an amusement park ride because you could just never be sure what was going to work -- or not work -- at any given time. Apparently, Kevin had not clipped the blinker, brake or front right lights back in so we drove into town (in the dark, mind you) on almost flat out DARK mode. God love him, he then drove out to Academy and put them in for us before he went to Clarksville to meet his family for lunch and shopping. The tires were low and we had to air them up. We had to pool all our quarters to get enough to put air in two tires and we were not certain, at one point if we were letting the air OUT or putting it in. We smelled antifreeze and the windshield wipers froze up when we turned them on. It was a RIOT after a while.

We hit Kohls first where the line literally snaked around the whole store. We were next door to Target where I wanted to get a TV that was on sale. They didn't open until 6 a.m., so I thought I had plenty of time. Imagine my surprise when I walked out of Kohls and the line to get into Target was all the way down the street to Kohls. Fortunately, it didn't take long to get in and I promptly shuffled off to electronics. There were no more carts so that wasn't a problem.

The place was PACKED, especially in electronics. I saw a lady with the TVs I was looking for in her cart so I walked up and asked her where they were. She started to tell me as another woman walked up to listen. She said they were back in the far corner but they were already all gone. She then went on to say that she had picked up two but only needed one. She said, "You two can fight over this one." She no more than had it out of her mouth when I said, "Oh, there's no need to fight, I'll just take it." and proceeded to lift it out of the cart and walk off with it. Now, this didn't strike me as odd or humorous at all, but the girls have laughed and laughed over this. They said they could just see me doing this. *smile* She offered ....

We ended up going to Kohls, Target, Walmart, Panera Bread (morning snack, you know), KMart, Academy Sports, American Motorsports and then off to Opry Mills where we hit Bass Pro Shop, Bath and Body Works, TGIFridays (lunch by then), Apple Barn and Bed Bath and Beyond.

By this time it was 4:00. We had been going for 12 hours and we were tired, silly and giddy and had to go home. Here is a shot of the back of the van and the interior -- after a long day.

Oh, and by the way, the television was worth it. *big smile*

Thanksgiving Group Photos

So, we got the great idea to take a few group photos while we were all together for Thanksgiving. All I can say is, "hahahahahahahahahaha"

Fort Knox??? Notice Joshua is on the floor!

There was much more laughing that photo taking. We finally came out with a few good ones. We should have planned better. There is talk of getting together for the family reunion in June. Maybe then, we can do better.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, these should be a novel.

Had someone eaten a Fiber One bar?

Finally, a passable group photo of all 16 of us.

Thanksgiving Day

It was a wonderful day, with the exception that my mother was feeling so poorly that she and daddy didn't get to come. It was my first Thanksgiving without them, and it made me sad. Since there were a lot of folks around, though, there wasn't a lot of time to be sad. I did get to go see them for a short, short while later in the day. Hopefully, we will get to go out to eat for our birthdays and Thanksgiving when mama is feeling better.

In lieu of a full write up of the day, I thought my favorite pictures from the day would tell a better story. Suffice it to say, we had more food than we could eat, we had lots of laughter and fun.

Here are some of my favorite phrases heard througout the weekend:

• It's just paintin' the walls, Nana
• Please let someone pray who won't cry
• Has anyone tried those Fiber One Bars?
• What's "Iraq"?
• Where's the gold stored?
• Fort Knox
• Watch out for that water spill.
• You're going to sleep how many, WHERE?
• Don't forget the new baby -- WHAT?? What new baby?? Is Ann pregnant?
• "Rodney"

We are blessed for each life that is in our family, for who they are, what they add to our family and for the fact that we get to call them family. I am blessed beyond measure. Who could ask for more?

Sarah

Sarah is the baby Latham. She will be four in December. She is the cutest little button in the world and is smart and polite thrown in for a bonus. She gives great hugs, loves her Aunt Maria, Uncle Kevin and cousin Joshua. She loves the kitties, too. She has the cutest little sprinkling of freckles across her nose and her braids this weekend were darling.

She's so tiny that everyone, including Joshua, picked her up at one time or another. She's always smiling and happy.

I can't wait to see you again, Sarah!

.

Lauren

Lauren, my third niece, is nine, almost ten. She will be ten in January. She and Joshua are the closest in age of any of the grandchildren and they are like two peas in a pod. When they are together they are inseparable.

Angie and I were pregnant and our due dates were only six weeks apart. I remember after they were born, they came to visit and I bought them both a Disney outfit and we put them in the crib together and took pictures. Even though they have been apart for many years, as soon as they were back together, it was like they were long lost buddies and were inseparable all over again.

Lauren has the most beautiful complexion, grey eyes and dark brown hair. She is going to be a beautiful woman one day as well. She is quiet and artistic, sensitive and caring. She and Josh spent the day in the yard working on the "Latham Clubhouse" with a hammer, string and a blanket.


Steve and Angie told her they would leave her with us and she said, "Ok! I could come visit you all on the weekends!" She and Joshua really get along well.