Emotions and Adoption

I'm never surprised when the emotions hit me during what has turned out to be a long adoption process. I think back to our naivete when we started this process some three years ago and I wind my mind back through all that we have gone through and the emotions that have ripped me apart and the tenderness with which God has reminded me that He is in control, not me. To say it has been a roller coaster would be like calling Hurricane Katrina a thunderstorm. It has provided the highest of highs and the lowest of lows and ever emotion in between.

So, the last few weeks were not surprising, I suppose to me, but they have proven to be an enigma. During a time I should probably be the happiest since we are so close to the "prize" or the "goal", I find myself feeling ambivalent. This seems to be the best word to describe my emotions right now. I'm tired from all the work that we are pouring out right now with trying to get our house in order so we can add another person and from fundraising to raise funds more quickly than we had anticipated we would need them.

Somewhere along the way I lost sight of why we were doing this. I got caught up in the thought and process of adoption and forgot to focus on the outcome of the adoption. Someone who is adopting using our same agency just travelled for their first trip. They shared their blog with me yesterday and I spent quite a while marveling over this tiny baby girl that they were blessed with being told was theirs. Somehow, in the painting, the hammering, the baby clothes, the pizza kits and the paperwork, I haven't been still enough to think about the child, the baby.

I got a sample diaper in the mail today. When I held it, the reality of the fact that a little wiggling baby girl would be in that diaper and in our home and our hearts came crashing in. I went into her room and thought of her sleeping there, crying in the middle of the night. I think, because I have been here and done that before, I can understand that even though she is not "real" to us yet, she is going to touch our hearts, our home and our family in such a way that none of us will ever be the same people as we were before she came. I hope I can change her life in a positive way as well.

A friend commented as we talked about the things I'm writing here that I'm in my last trimester of our adoption pregnancy -- the time when you are most miserable, most anxious and most afraid. You have no idea when the baby is coming, but know that everything is going to change. You are tired from all the work of just existing and carrying a baby. You are so anxious about "nesting" and getting it all ready for the baby and yet you are also so tired. That's exactly where I seem to find myself these days.

Our family is ready (pretty much, anyway) to receive our referral when it comes. We are ready to dive in headfirst to find what our "new normal" is going to be. We are ready to go back to life without the burden of adoption work. While adoption will always be a part of our lives, of Ellie's and my history, it doesn't have to be the focus of our lives all the time -- like this seems to be.

I can envision my little girl. I see her small with dark hair -- lots of it -- and dark eyes. She will be dark complexioned. I see her tiny fingers clutched around one of ours. I see her yawn and hear her coo. I see her sleeping in her brother's arms. I see her, just like her brother did, sleeping on her daddy's chest for a nap. I see her in church on Sundays, knowing "my girls" will all want to be holding her and playing with her (Sara, after all, has called dibs on babysitting). I see her at MeeMee's and DeeDee's for Christmas and at Nana's for Sunday afternoon dinner. I see her chasing the cats and laying on the dog like Josh used to do. And so while I am fearful, I am excited.

I found the following verses that gave me comfort this morning. I hope if there are other parents who are adopting and waiting that are reading, they will find some comfort in this as well,

Isaiah 30:18

The Lord longs to be gracious to you;

He rises to show you compassion

For the Lord is a God of justice

Blessed are all who wait for Him!

In "The Window"

We are now in the "window" that we were told our referral would come. Granted, we are just on the early side and don't expect to hear news yet, but it's exciting to know that it will be soon.

The dossier is ready sans one employment letter and one set of police clearance letters. I forgot to tell them I needed two. I have have those done and a couple of documents notarized and Friday I will go about getting it all authenticated and certified. We also get our fingerprints done on Friday and will begin the tedious wait of getting our I171H.

We are waiting to hear from two others who are in front of us on the Adoption Options waiting list. When their referrals come I will begin to get antsy.

Maria

Rambling

There's no good title for this post as I'm just catching up a few whirlwind days/weeks and exploring some of those "contents" of my heart that reflect the title of the blog. Be forewarned, this post will ramble. :-)

Today we had the remaining dossier documents notarized. I thought that would finish things up, but wouldn't you know it, there is always a piece or two missing. I realized I only have one employment letter for me and the lady who did my letter is out this week. I only have one police clearance letter for each of us, but that lady is coming back this week. I need to make my photo pages which I can do within a very short period of time. I need to take the passport copies to the bank and have them notarized since I forgot to take them today. THANK YOU to Lisa for notarizing our things (again!). Will this dossier ever be done????

So... laundry tip. I have a messy, messy boy who loves condiments of all varieties and never fails to wear them. He gets this from me. We have found that Easy Off BAM will take out pretty much any condiment/grease stain on colored clothes. It works OK on whites, but you might have to run it through twice. On colored clothes though, we have managed to take out grease stains on clothing that has already been washed and dried several times. This is a product made to clean the grease off your appliances and out of your stove, so it makes sense. We have seen no loss of color on the items either. So, there's your tip for the day.

On the fundraising front (will that ever end??) we will be selling concessions at a softball tournament this weekend at Joelton Park. We are doing the breakfast booth on Saturday and Sunday. There are supposed to be between 20-30 teams there, so we are hopeful that it will be a productive couple of days. Our Sunday school class informed us today that they want to help with this by purchasing the items we will sell. I was just floored by this offer and generosity. I'm always amazed at the ways God chooses to help. It is never a way I would think of on my own.

Along those same lines, our pastor has encouraged us to memorize (in however long it takes us) ten scriptures. We are to pick verses that apply to us at where ever we are in life. We are to write them on cards and take them with us and study them until we have them memorized. I'm going to list my ten verses here so I don't forget them (people who know me will find this both funny and sad -- but true!). I'm cheating a little because some of them I already know, but during the next few months of this adoption, they are truths that I need to continually remind myself of. It's been a hard few weeks emotionally on the adoption front and I know if I commit these to memory, they will serve as a reminder of the promises made and kept.

Delight yourself in the ways of the Lord

and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

I will not leave you as orphans.

I will come to you.

John 14:18

Lord, listen and be gracious to me.

Lord, be my helper.

You turned my lament into dancing.

You removed my sackcloth

and clothed me with gladness

so that I can sing to You

and not be silent

Lord my God.

I will praise you forever."

Psalm 30:10-12

I Corinthians 10:13

No temptation has seized you

except what is common to man.

And God is faithful;

he will not let you be tempted

beyond what you can bear.

But when you are tempted,

he will also provide a way out

so that you can stand up under it.

He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield

and rampart.

Psalm 91:4

Set a guard over my mouth, O Lord;

keep watch over the door of my lips.

Psalm 141:3

He who guards his mouth

and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.

Proverbs 21:23

I will sing of the LORD's great love forever;

with my mouth I will make

your faithfulness known

through all generations.

Psalm 89:10

No comments about the ones about my "mouth" from those who know me well.

This is our last week of school before spring break. I'm going to try to get caught up with work this week (hahahaha) so I can take a day or two off to do things with Kevin and Joshua. I'm hoping for pretty weather. We did have our snow Saturday -- somewhere around 5-6". It was pretty much gone by early afternoon.

All the keys are popping off my laptop. I'm without "K" and now "L" and "C" are pretty much done for. Does ANYONE know where I can take to to get it cleaned and have the keys repaired???

Pizza Pizza -- Again, Again

During our last Little Caesar's Pizza Kit sale, our order was short a couple of kits. Then, apparently, we lost one (how???) and so we needed to re-order. Because of that, we are going to allow anyone who wants anymore or who missed this last order to place an order. Our cut off for getting the orders is 3/16 (Sunday). The orders will be delivered on Thursday March 20.

We've had great comments from the last sale and we've already collected 30 orders for the next time.

If you need to see the brochure, you can find it HERE. Scroll down a few pages and it will be a color brochure with prices.

While I'm bragging about their products, let me say that we have been SO HAPPY with our salad fixings kit. Just add lettuce and you're done! It combines all your favorite gourmet toppings with premium dressings in 4 flavorful salad combinations. The Salad Fixin's Kit goes anywhere! Joshua loves the Caesar Salad Kit and I love the Southwestern kit. We throw some chicken in with it and have really quick meal.

We've also heard rave reviews over the wings that come with the Deep Dish Family Meal. The kit comes with a deep dish family size pepperoni pizza, 10 boneless wings and 18 pc Crazy Bread.

Thanks, again, for all the support!

Baseball Season Starts Again

Tonight was our first official practice for the 2008 Baseball season. This year Joshua is a Padre. He's very excited because all his friends are on this team and he really likes his coaches.

It was REALLY cold out there tonight. They are predicting a big snow here tomorrow -- possibly 4"-6" of accumulation.

Check out our team blog. We are excited about havnig a blog. There's not a lot there now, but we are excited about using it this year.

I like baseball -- when it's warm!

Progress Being Made

Despite the fact that I found no "takers" for my position of Replacement Me, I decided something HAD to be done with that "To Do" list when people began asking me, "Do you REALLY have that many things to do??" with some incredulity. I sort of whispered my reply in embarrassment, "Those were just the most important things." *smile*

So, today, I got on that proverbial ball and got the following items cleared off my list:

1. 1. Punch has gone to the vet. She has some really long named possibly allergy/immune system thingy that is causing her paw to become inflammed and the vet indicated she thought it was starting in another paw. I LOVE my vet, Dr. Lamb. She is awesome. She came back in with a book and showed me pictures, told me about what it was and everything. Sadly, all I was thinking in my mind the entire time she was talking was, "Is she going to DIE from this???" followed by, "I wonder if this is a high dollar fix?" Fortunately for both Punch and me, it was neither. Some steroids and antibiotics and she should be one the mend. It might take several weeks.
2. Deposits are made at the bank.
3. Weekly Bible study classwork is complete and class for this week is done.
4. Telephone repair man came and the phone is working again.
5. Joshua's tonsillectomy has been cancelled and I will call back closer to summer and after our referral to re-schedule.
6. Dossier is in order. We are missing only the photo pages and we have to have the police clearance letters re-done. Everything is ready for notarization. Thanks to my friend, A., who also lives in TN and has adopted from Kyrg, I will now only have to go to two county clerks offices instead of three AND I have a phone number where I can "call ahead" and they will have it ready to staple to the paper. You CANNOT beat that, can you??
7. I am headed to Bowling Green for a LONG day tomorrow to clean that work up there. I have entered some of the backlog of work I have. This might continue to be on the list for a few weeks. But hey, it's job security, right???

Thanks to Kevin today for picking up the missing Marriage Licenses, Joshua's medical forms and having our passport copies made. That took a LOT off me.

I'm feeling a bit better. Give me a weekend and I just might be able to cut that list down to just a few items!!! Yay.

And, Dana, if you are reading this, I have pulled out the items you have asked for and will be scanning tomorrow night and emailing them to you. They are "on the list".

And last, but certainly not least, I got my baby "fix" in tonight at church. My friend Michelle's baby, Caleb is just TOO CUTE and is usually a willing participant for my much needed fix!

Psalm 30:11-12

WOW! As I study for my Beth Moore class, I came across a verse that made me stop and just think how perfect it was for our adoption story. In all honesty, it might not be for Kevin's or Joshua's personal experience with this adoption, but it is as if it was written specifically for me. It is:

You turned my wailing into dancing;

you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy

that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.

Oh Lord, my God, I will give you thanks

forever.

I can think back on some of the darkest times during this two and half, almost three-year journey and remember the times when there was most definitely wailing and sackcloth. I can almost see the end now. I can "taste" the joy and feel the cloth of it that will clothe me. I feel my feet begin to vibrate in the beginnings of the "dance". My heart has begun to hum in anticipation of the song it will sing.

And, as always, I will continue to give credit, praise and thanks to the One who continues to make it all possible. Forever.

As I continue looking through the rest of my study, I feel as if He is sitting here saying, "This is to prepare you. You are close." Look, as I have at the quotes and the section titles and be amazed and His timing.

God never more closely surrounds us than when He lifts us to His breast and carries us HOME.

Our mouths were FILLED WITH LAUGHTER then, and our tongues with SHOUTS OF JOY. Then they said among the nations, 'The Lord has done GREAT THINGS for them.' Psalm 126:2

Those who sow in tears will reap with SHOUTS OF JOY. Psalm 126:5

VAIN LABOR (section title) - Godless labor + little sleep = the futile expenditure of energy

WOW again! I feel like we are so close to the filling of laughter and the shouts of joy and the great things to come. And, there is the reminder of not filling our lives with Godless labor, robbing ourselves of sleep and the futile expenditures of energy.

Pinky Bear

INTRODUCING: Pinky Bear

Saturday night Joshua wanted to go "do something". We thought and realized we had gift cards left over from Christmas for Macaroni Grill and that he had gift cards and a "stuff for stuff" certificate all from Build-A-Bear so the evening's activities were planned.

While on the way, I mentioned that we might ought to be considering the bear we were going to take to Kyrgyzstan for Ellie. We had talked about doing a BAB with a sound recording of our voices to take to her on trip one and leave it until we return for trip two.

So, in addition to building "RUFF" the Husky dog, we built "PINKY BEAR" the, well, Pink Bear (we had several moments of indecision on what to call the Bear, so we went with the non-creative obvious). Pinky Bear's shelf tag said she was "Full of Love". Her paws have magnets in them to make them stick to her nose, making her look as if she is ready to blow you a kiss.

We recorded a sound card to put in one paw with each of us saying a little something. Granted, it had to be quick, there was only 10 seconds on the recorder. I have threatened everyone in the house not to play the recording as I'm afraid the battery will die before we get there or before we get back to get her. I'm sure she won't be able to play it, but I'm hoping her caregivers will play it for her.

Wanted - A Replacement for me ...

Ok, so I'm looking for someone who wants to come in, clean up my life for the next few weeks and then I can, hopefully manage it for a while.

Here's what you will be responsible for doing over the next few weeks:

1. Finish my dossier. It needs to still be taken to Lisa's house for final notarization, taken to three different county offices for authentication and then to the State for Authentication. Copies need to be made of all the documents for my files and then it needs to be mailed to Adoption Options. This needs to occur immediately.
2. Research cause and find cure for my cat, Punch's, recent limp. Her front paw is a bit inflammed. Please research and let me know if it will kill her to continue to limp for a few days and if Neosporin is poisonous for cats. You could take her to the vet -- if you have time. This needs to occur immediately.
3. Clean and photograph the last two rooms (Ellie's and our bedrooms) for the dossier. This needs to be done immediately.
4. Stencil the remaining verse on Ellie's wall. This, of course, needs to be done immediately in order to finish #3.
5. Oh, and yes, find a curtain and lampshade for her room -- this does NOT have to be done immediately. Tomorrow will be fine.
6. Move everything out of the garage office with Kevin on Saturday so he can work on the floor. After he finishes on Saturday, move it all back.
7. One word: LAUNDRY -- Yes, immediately.
8. Go to bank and make deposits -- immediately.
9. Go to medical clinic and start Hepatitis shots. Be SURE to get that done before I take back over. *smile*
10. Gather documents for and complete 2007 taxes. Immediately, nah, it can wait a day or two.
11. Complete Bible study materials for tomorrow night's class.
12. Go to Bowling Green, KY and complete past due inspections (as a favor for company so you can stay on the good side and to earn some extra $). Yes, immediately.
13. Complete the 88 inspections that are currently coming due. This should only take a week, but really, you should get on it.
14. Go visit my grandmother in the nursing home. Plan to stay a while because that's what I promised I'd do next time I came.
15. Call and cancel Joshua's tonsillectomy. Be sure to spend the amount of time required to let them know that he has just gotten over strep and the flu and now seems to have a sinus infection. Remind them that his immune system is tired and can't quite do a surgery now. Re-schedule for summer. This should have been done yesterday.
16. Could you back-up my computer before it crashes losing everything? If you'll just take it to my mom's house, she has a system to back it up. While you are there, she has some computer work that she needs you to handle. Yes, immediately, please.
17. Meet the telephone repair man tomorrow who can hopefully tell you why you haven't been able to hear anyone on your home phone for months. He will be at the house between 8 a.m. and 6 p.m. You'll need to be there. :-)
18. Mail gift to friend in Texas.
19. Mail off camera that is not taking clear photos. It needs to be packed well, shipped with insurance the form needs to be filled out.
20. Balance checkbook and pay bills -- should be done daily.
21. Cook and vacuum -- daily.
22. Catch up the blog entries and read all my past due email, delete non-relevant email and clean up deleted files.
23. Coordinate upcoming four fundraisers for adoption. Plan what to sell at upcoming concessions stands, coordinate volunteers, make signs and buy food. Gather items for yard sale (once you find a place to PUT it and set a date to have it). Determine date for donut sale.
24. Finalize and send off grant application. This should have been done last month so if you can do time travel, that would be great.
25. Diet for me too, if you will -- that seems to not be working so well with me doing it so maybe you'll have more luck.

I think, if you could just get that much done and back on track, I'd be able to handle the rest.

Fingerprinting appointment letter has arrived

We got our letter from USCIS today indicating we now have an appointment to get our fingerprints done (again). I jokingly tell people they are just checking to see if we robbed the Piggly Wiggly in the last 18 months since we had them done last.

Our appointment is March 14 at 1:00. After that, the USCIS in Memphis is running 8 weeks to get out I171H forms. We have to have a copy of this document to Adoption Options, have it notarized, authenticated, translated and legalized before our dossier will be able to go to court. So, if we got a referral tomorrow we could not proceed with the court proceedings until that is done.

I've checked with two of the people in line in front of me on "the list". They have not heard from te agency yet as to referrals this week. In all honesty, that is not upsetting me right now. We still need time to finalize these last fundraisers, time to get one more grant application in the mail, and time to get that I171H form. So, technically, we are still #5. I know (technically speaking I know of them from online) the two people situated at #2 and #3 on the list. I think I know who #4 is (friend of #3). I have not been able to figure out #1 yet. :-) It's nice being able to correspond with those folks. I'm as excited for them as I can be!!

Pizza Pizza = Tired Tired

Whew! I remember thinking when Carla brought up the idea of a pizza sale as a fundraiser that I was concerned about getting them all delivered on the night they came. Now I know why. Boy, tonight was some serious work.

The pizza delivery truck came about 5:40. I was very sad to see that it did not have Little Caesar's on the side of the truck, but I took a photo anyway. *surprise!*

The boys, Josh, Bryce and Chris, were really excited about helping unload the truck. Carla had everything printed out and organized so each type of kit got put in the correct place, a thank you note was taped onto the box and we began to "fill" orders. Two hours and 205 items later, the last car left the lot to head for deliveries.

I am so thankful to all those who sold and who came to help distribute (we could have NEVER done this alone and without Carla's expertise).

I got home at 9:00 and we had a Family Meal Kit (less the cookies) for dinner. I did add some additional toppings to our kits, but here is the finished product.

Kevin has now gone to his office to put more pizza kits and cookie dough in the refrigerator there. We have pizzas in our refrigerator, freezer, on ice in coolers and stashed at my mothers and the church. They are EVERYWHERE! This is in addition to all the folks who picked their orders up tonight and are delivering them. We are thankful, though, that this brings us one step closer.

I truly hope everyone enjoys their Pizza-Pizza as much as we did.

An added blessing tonight was that a call to our agency to ask some paperwork questions yielded more information on where we are on "the list". Apparently, our agency is expecting three referrals in the next little while so we could feasibly be #2 on the list in the next week.

We are in a mad dash to try to figure out where the last bit of funds will come from, figure out what we will do about missing school for Joshua if our referral comes early and we have to travel before school is out, and how we will "get it all together". Oh well, God will take care of the details if we will just listen for His voice in the crazy, exciting madness of it all. We're getting REALLY close now.

Science Project

The science fair is a yearly tradition at our school. Third and fourth grade students are required to participate and the first and second graders all do a class project.

This year Josh and his dad came up with the idea to make homemade weather instruments to see if you could predict the weather without professional equipment. I reserve the right as blog author to comment that people have, for centuries, predicted weather without professional equipment simply by walking outside, looking at the sky, smelling the air and saying, "I think it's going to rain." However, apparently that does not qualify as meeting the standards of the "scientific method" so more effort was required at our house.

Kevin and Josh looked on the internet to find out how to make a barometer and an anemometer. For those, like me, who are scientifically challenged, a barometer measures atmospheric pressure and an anemometer measures wind speed. Here are their homemade versions of these pieces of equipment. (I will admit that I don't have a clue what the professional versions would look like -- you'll have to research that on your own). Also included are some "Photoshopped" versions that include what the used to make them.

Data was gathered each morning and each evening and entered into Joshua's "log book" (to make it more cool for him, Kevin brought one home like he uses in the field).

At the end of their data gathering period, they compiled their information and Joshua typed it up on the computer, emailed it to me for formatting and we printed it, he cut it out, matted it using construction paper and we all helped him tape it down on the board.

VIOLA -- finished project. How come it sounds so much more simple in words than it really was? How come we felt like we were nailing jello to the wall trying to get Joshua to finish this project? Anyway... here's what it looked like before it got sent to school.

He was unable to attend the judging this evening as we were unloading and delivering pizzas (it WAS his choice to stay there instead of going to the fair), but I called another mom and found out that he won 2nd place in his Earth Sciences division. He came in behind his friend, Kaitlin. Ironically, when they were about six months old, they were both in a baby pageant. Kaitlin won first place and Joshua won second. When I told him about getting second and Kaitlin getting first, he said, "I'm always coming in second place to her!" *smile*

Snow

Yeah, we got the snow day I wished for. Josh is STILL running a fever, albeit much lower than before. We are down in the 99-100 range now. He was distraught that several of his friends called for him to come play in the snow and I wouldn't let him go "spread the love" (aka the flu) with them.

I relented and we did go out for about 15 minutes and he got to sled a little. I'm sure it wasn't good sound medical advice, but, hey, he has the flu, it can't get a lot worse (well, I guess it COULD). He's also a ten-year-old-boy and this was a pretty good snow. I only managed to capture a few photos. I was too busy sledding with him.

Tonight I feel funky. I'm a bit achy (a lot achy) and my head hurts. I'm off to bed because I absolutely have to work in the field tomorrow.

Humor: I have found my illness

I got this from my friend Susan. After she read it to me, I asked her, "What I want to know is why whoever wrote this has been following me around and taking notes of my day!"

Enjoy.

A.A.A.D.D.

Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!!

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide it needs washing. As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full. So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke I'd been drinking. I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over. The Coke is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--they need water. I put the Coke on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning. I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table. I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I'll be looking for the remote but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers. I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day: the car isn't washed, the bills aren't paid, there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have enough water, there is still only 1 check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, and I don't remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day, and I'm really tired.

I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail (or update my blog)....

Checks

We've been gathering money for pizzas for a few days now and have just been putting them in an envelope on the fridge. Today, we got a package from Susan with checks and then I met Carla tonight to get her checks. I decided I should sit down and calculate the checks, start to make the deposits and see if I still needed to collect any more.

I told Carla Sunday night that at some random point in the next week I would burst into tears as the impact of this sale hit me. And it just did. I had to quit adding up the checks because as I sat here seeing name of friends I knew and loved and the names of people in our community that I don't know, who had written "Latham Adoption Fund" on their checks, I became overwhelmed with gratitude that strangers would support our adoption of a little girl in another country.

Latham Adoption Fund -- that's us. This is real. This is unreal. This is close.

There are checks from all over a five county area. I realize that each slip of paper I held is tangile proof of a promise fulfilled from God that He would provide for us when He called us back in August 2005. It makes me feel so humble, so awed at a God who provides for our hearts' desires as well as our needs and appreciative beyond what words can adequately express for the support of those who gave of their money to buy pizzas and cookie dough to give a little girl a better life.

Thank you, everyone of you.

Flu

Because Josh was out of school for two days, I knew we would need a doctor's note. He also continued to have fever (since Saturday) so I made an appointment this morning to take him in to the doctor this afternoon.

BLOW ME DOWN when the doctor says he has the flu! They swabbed his nose and did the test and it was positive. Since he's had it so long, Tamiflu wouldn't be any help. By the time we got back home he was exhausted.

He's back on the couch with some books, a few movies from the Red Box, Puffs (with Vicks Vapo-Rub -- cool things!!) and potato soup on the stove (his favorite food). There is nothing better when you are sick or when it's cold than a warm bowl of loaded potato soup with some crispy french bread -- yummmm!

I asked the doctor how long before I could consider Kevin and myself "safe". We were told that if we didn't have it by Saturday, we were ok. Saturday is a long way off. I think I'm having some hypochondriac symptoms already. :-)

As I sit here and write, the most beautiful snow flakes are falling outside. The neighbors' roofs are already white. Hopefully, there will be no school tomorrow and we won't have to miss another day of school.

Ellie's Bedding Came!

I LOVE Ellie's bedding. It is so soft and feminine. I have now begun to stencil (doesn't that sound so 80s??) a Bible verse on her wall. MAN, that takes a lot of time. I should have picked a shorter verse. :-) I've got one of three lines done, but I really like it. I will post photos when I'm done. Mama is going to look for a valance/curtain or materials to make them tomorrow when she goes into town.

I still need to paint my grandmother's small chest that we are going to use for a side table beside the glider/chair and I need to either stain or paint the cradle that will hold her baby dolls. There's always something to do around here. Kevin is working diligently every night on raising the floor in the garage/office so that it will be at the same level as the rest of the house. There will be NO PHOTOS of this for a while. It's TOO BIG of a mess.

Thank you mama and daddy for the bedding!

Fourteen Months - LID for China Anniversary

While we are working feverishly to complete an adoption from Kyrgyzstan, it remains in the back of my mind that our dossier is sitting in China -- waiting. Today is our 14 month "anniversary" of our log-in-date for our China adoption. When we began, the wait time was at fourteen months. Now, when I go to the China Adoption Forecast website and check their forecast for our referral date from China, I get:

Our prediction for LID 2006-12-25

If China did all future referrals at the exact same speed as they did this month: 2011-12-10

Our best guess - a weighted average of recent CCAA velocities, guessing that CCAA will perform about as well in the future as they are performing now, but might return to previous trends: 2011-07-08

That's our best guess for when you might receive your referral. Just at a guess, we can suppose that the CCAA either speeds up or slows down significantly, and show you those dates. If they speed up: 2009-09-30. And if they slow down: 2014-09-19.

"
Since China generally sends out referrals in a batch about once per month, your referral date could easily vary +/- one month depending on whether you just get included or just get missed in a particular batch.

"

So, based on this information, our wait will be 5.5 years if we continue down this path. It will be a minimum of 41 more months to referral.

Our social worker asked, while updating our homestudy, if we will still continue with our China adoption when we finalize our adoption from Krygyzstan. I told her that I didn't know. And, I don't think we know. God is good enough to only reveal as much as we can deal with at a time. I'm sure, once we are past this adoption, we will know what we need to do. I suspect, after the Olympics in Beijing are finished this summer, there might be movement in China's adoption process. They have been positioning themselves for a long time to be a country promoted in a positive spotlight. Being high on the list of international adoption sources would not be considered positive in their country. It remains to be seen what will happen with that country as well with our continued attempts to adopt from there. My heart still feels the call from there. The significance of our log-in-date is not lost on me. Time will tell.

Portrait of a Sick Boy

I was sitting on the couch working tonight and looked over at Joshua. Bless his heart. He was the portrait of pitiful. I don't think he ever knew I took his picture. Note the following:

1. Wet rag to cool forehead.
2. Blankets to cuddle up in.
3. Lots of pillows.
4. Stuffed kitty
and, most important,
5. REMOTE CONTROL (it's a man thing that starts early!)

Oh, and the brown stuff around his mouth -- remains of the chocolate chip cookies I felt like a sick boy should have. We are still battling a fever off and on. One minute he's hot, the next he's got chills. He's got a hacky cough. I'm suspecting that there is more than strep going on here -- maybe an underlying viral infection too. Needless to say, there is not going to be a school day in his future tomorrow.