Monday, March 17, 2008

The Craziest Things Take Me Back

I am adopted. Several years ago I made contact with the members of my birth family on my birth mother's side. I also made contact with members on my birth father's side, but somehow I didn't manage to keep up the contact with them. But, that's not really what I'm writing about.

Kevin has a class in Atlanta tomorrow and since it is spring break, Josh and I decided to tag along. Hey, it's a free night in a hotel, away from home and it will involve a stop at the Cracker Barrel. Who would pass that up? As for Josh, there will be pool time and so he's all for it. Sadly, he woke up last night with what has turned out to be a RAGING ear infection and we had to make a stop at the doctor's office and at Walgreens for antibiotics. The doctor also gave him an antihistimine and decongestant to help dry him up. He just never got all the "funk" out from when he had strep back-to-back with the flu. I'm hoping spring is coming and these germs will all die soon. Oh, look, I'm off topic again!

Anyway, as we are driving there I thought about the hotel that Kevin booked, a Fairfield Inn/Suites -- because it was the only one in the area that had an indoor pool, of course. And I immediately went back in time some five years to a summer in Orlando, Florida to a Fairfield Inn and Suites near Disney World in a lobby where I first met several of the members of my birth family. I met Derek, his girlfriend/fiance' Nicki and her son, Robert and his wife Tammy and her son and Ricky. I still remember what I wore, what I felt and how very scared I was to go down to that lobby to meet those people. My sister was living in North Carolina at that time and wasn't there and my birth mom, well, she didn't come, but nonetheless, it was a momentthat changed my life forever.

Sadly, since then, my brother Derek has passed away and really that's what took me back there. I really miss him. Most days I go along just fine and don't think about him, but some days it really hits hard. He was just so good and so young and so much like me. We spent hours and hours on the phone talking and talking when we found each other. I get teary just thinking about it now and he's been gone two and a half years now. Sometimes Josh will say something and sound like him and I'll just stop and stare. Sometimes I'll throw out some crazy piece of humor and think, "Derek would have really gotten that and thought it was a riot." I've noticed Josh drawing a lot lately and Derek was an artist. His last job was at EA Sports creating artwork for video games. He was SUCH a kid at heart. Josh asked the other day if he practiced enough could he go to art school. I told him he could do whatever made him happy. I don't know if he has talent, but I know genetically he could. I know that whatever he wants to do in life I'll be behind him, supporting him. I wish Derek were around to share the ups and downs of our adoption. I wish I could just call him up and hear his voice.

Strange, how just the thought of a hotel can bring back all that.


Mom to 2 Angels said...

Thanks for sharing your experience. You will be such a source of comfort and strength for Ellie b/c you will "get it" so much more than some of us.

Khakismum said...

Maria!!! How dare you come to Atlanta and not call or contact me! Kathryn and I would have LOVED to come by and see you and chat! Promise you will call us next time.