God Provides - I Still Believe

I see a message on a sign at a local church that reads:

God provides our needs

Not our greeds

I'm certain God is talking to me through this sign.

Kevin has now been without a job for five weeks. Every day I get the opportunity to tell someone that "We are ok today, and today is all God has asked me to be concerned with. We have food; we have a home; we have our health and our children. I have a job. We are blessed."

Today I met a man who lost his job at Bridgestone back in June. His wife lost her job right after he did. I'm not sure if we commiserated or shored one another up. He gave me an interesting factoid: On average it takes TEN MONTHS in today's economy to find a job. His neighbor, he told me, took 14 months and the week after he got a job his wife was laid off.

I got another opportunity to talk with a neighbor/friend/church member tonight about her husband's layoff, subsequent job search and new job and their process and how they began to tithe regularly when he was laid off. It was certainly an interesting conversation about faith in God's provision.

As I reported a few days back our microwave blew up. This was a big deal to me. I can live without health insurance, but not a microwave. Of course, I say that in jest, but you know, a woman's GOT to have a microwave. I gave up snacking because everything I wanted required a microwave --it's my new diet method. Anyway, today my DEAR friend Susan met me in Nashville and loaned me her microwave. She is renting and her home has a microwave so she didn't need this one right now. What a blessing to have a friend who immediately said, "You can borrow mine" when I said mine blew up. There was no hesitation just immediate need meeting. That's God, and that's true friendship. I told God today I needed a miracle. He gently said, "You get them every day." Amen. Yes, God, I know.

Kevin continues to submit applications daily to different companies. It's just a tough economy right now. We are certain that God has a job for him and are trying to remain patient as we wait. However, I'll be honest and say that when the man reported the ten month figure today, a part of my faith quickly crumbled, with my flesh thinking, "Lord, we can't do this that long." I worked hard to shore it back up by listening to some wonderful Christian music. I was buoyed by Jeremy Camp's lyrics in his song, "I Still Believe" I think sometimes reading lyrics instead of singing or hearing them can be so inspiring. It bolstered me even more as I read them tonight:

Scattered words and empty thoughts

Seem to pour from my heart

I've never felt so torn before

Seems I don't know where to start

But its now that I feel your grace fall like rain

From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness

I still believe in your truth

I still believe in your holy word

Even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind

With promises I still seem to bear

Even when answers slowly unwind

It's my heart I see you prepare

But its now, that I feel, your grace fall like rain

From every fingertip washing away my pain

I still believe in your faithfulness

I still believe in your truth

I still believe in your holy word

Even when I don't see, I still believe

Well the only place I can go is into your arms

Where I throw to you my feeble prayers

In brokenness I can see that this was your will for me

Help me to know that you are near

I still believe in your faithfulness

I still believe in your truth

I still believe in your holy word

Even when I don't see, I still believe

This was the first song written by Jeremy Camp after the death of his wife from ovarian cancer. A job loss seems insignificant in light of that, doesn't it?

EVEN WHEN I DON'T SEE .... I still believe. And I do. I believe that God wants what's best for my life and for Kevin's. I spend a lot of time each day praying for my husband during this time. I can't imagine how hard this must be for him. The only place I have to take all this is to God, knowing that He cares for me and my family and that He will provide our needs and knowing that He understands my human nature.

To God be the glory in all He does for us.