I finally got on the scales today. This is a sensitive topic and not one I am really happy about blogging about. However, I feel like maybe if there is some accountability, maybe I can find the way to be successful.
I have gained WAY too much weight during the wait for Ellie to come home and the subsequent time that she has been home. It's ridiculous, actually, and I'm finally at a mental place where I know I have to DO something about it.
But here's where it gets hard for me. I really DON'T like to exercise. I really LIKE to eat (especially sugar) and I really don't seem to have any willpower. I have great PLANS but I get hungry and then cave in to eating-- usually sugary junk food.
Today I decided to start "trying" to lose weight. I've contemplated Weight Watchers, low carb, etc., but I suppose right now I'm just trying to change a few habits before I got to something "official". I've begun to try to drink lots of water and fewer diet sodas. I was TRYING to cut out sugar, but I caved seriously tonight with the Easter candy. That stuff has to go.
I do well until about 3 or 4 in the afternoon and then I just get so HUNGRY. Today I went outside with the kids and we cleaned up the yard, moved tree branches, picked up toys, cleaned a lot of Ellie's outside toys. I was trying to keep my mind off of eating, but when I was done, then I was just more hungry. *sigh*
SO.... I'm so open for tips. I'm really going to try to make small changes in how I eat until it adds up to something that works for me. I'm going to try to be more active. Lord knows there is plenty I can do to be more active as our yard needs some serious work. I'm going to try to plant a small garden this year so the kiddos can have fun with that and we can have fresh veggies.
Pray for me, ok? This is such a hard struggle. I'm not used to not being able to just do anything I want, but this is one thing that seems to allude my abilities. I've set my "initial" goal as "Losing Ellie". I want to lose as much as she weighs right now -- 22 pound, 14 oz, ie, 23 pounds. I plan to just try to take it one day at a time and try not to beat myself up when I fail. I've already failed today with the Easter candy and two "Nutrition" bars. But, I'm hopeful that making choices like fresh fruit smoothies for breakfast, Subway chicken sandwich for lunch and a Lean Cuisine for dinner along with a lot of exercise and water today will help some. It will be a long road. Pray that I have the strength and that God will gird me up and help me not be hungry. If I'm not just SO hungry, I can do this!