Friday, May 29, 2009

Parenting Lessons from ... My Hair

It was time; it was way past time. My husband had even commented, "I didn't know you had so much gray in your hair." Tact is not his middle name. So, I managed to eke out a half hour today to put some color on this head of hair.

I've discovered I have follicularly challenged hair. It does not matter what the box says my hair color will be, my hair doesn't understand. I even had a conversation with it this time, telling it that it was not to turn out too dark. Instead of medium brown, or warm brown or any of those "medium" colors, I decided to try to "fool" my follicles by getting a "light" shade. There was a lovely color chart on the side of the box that said, based on my hair color, I would get this lovely honey, golden brown color. It was a beautiful shade, honestly. I showed the box to my hair, reminded them of their job and then covered them up with color. I was supposed to wait 25 minutes. At 10 minutes I realized the color that had dropped on my shirt was turning an alarming shade of dark, dark brown. Understanding the limitations of my hair to perform its job correctly and understand directions, I decided to rinse right away. Ten minutes -- not twenty five, mind you. Did I get a lovely honey, fawn colored, light brown? OF COURSE NOT!!! I have some kind of auburn dark brown. Oh well, it was a much better improvement over the black I got when I used "medium" brown. I'm fine with the color, honestly, but it is certainly not what I expected.

And then, as I got to drying my hair I started to think about how my hair was a lot like parenting. You go into parenting with "the manual" (your preconceived notions of how it will or should be) and a picture of what this is going to turn out looking like. And then, you realize after several unsuccessful tries to obtain that picture, that this is not turning out right. For some, it means that their children learn, act or behave in a manner that is not like what they expected. Then, you begin to tweak a little here and there; you try things in ways you've never thought of before. As you do, you start to see a subtle turn toward the direction you were planning to go -- toward that picture you have of the "perfect child" (which, by the way, doesn't exist). And then one day you wake up and realize that even though you didn't get "lovely, honey, fawn-colored light brown" that the auburn dark brown is a color that is good that, even though you didn't expect it, you really, really like it -- one might say you love it just the way it is.

I think, in all honesty, the chemicals might have gotten to me and might have fried some of my brain cells. *smile*


Hilary Marquis said...

Where's the pictures?

Kimberly said...

that's exactly what I was thinking Hilary! :-)
Come on Maria, you've gotta share!
And BTW - love the analogy!