1000th Post: The List (and other thoughts)

May 17, 2007 I was sitting in a hotel room in Columbia, South Carolina working on a St*te F*arm project, learning how to "blog", and writing my first blog entry. For the last several months I've pondered what I could do that was "monumental" or special as I knew that my 1000th post was coming up before long.

And then I decided to do "The List" after reading the book "The Next Thing on my List". I spent a long time pondering the list. I'm still not sure the list is complete, but it forced me to spend chunks of time thinking about my life, what I really want to accomplish during my life, if those things are obtainable, if we really have any say about the things we accomplish in our life, where my life is right now, what changes I could make to improve my life. MUCH thought has gone on in my life in the last few months. There have been fewer posts as I've been busy living life and trying to keep my head above water. I want to blog. I like blogging. I've found many have left the blogging world for Facebook. While I think FB is ok and has its place, I think blogging will be a staple for me for a long time. This is primarily because as I write, I realize my children will have a tangible record of their lives along with a record of their mom. I might not be in a lot of their pictures, but I will be the words on the pages of their lives. I will be the author of the words that relive their memories. I will be writing their biographies as children. What better present can I give them?

During my time of introspection I have pondered religion, politics, talk radio, the Bible, financial matters, futures planning, what kind of future our country will have, my job, my husband's job (I'm sure he doesn't want me pondering that, but I do), our friends, our families, my interests, my time wasters, my bad habits, my sins, my relationships. So much has been going through my mind -- I'm wondering if this is a "mid-life crisis" sans a new sports car or wanting a divorce -- which I most certainly do not want.

And in that process, I developed a relatively simple list of things I'd like to do. I've come to realize that if I do them, I will be happier, but that if I don't get to do all of them, it will be ok. They are the dreams that fuel my days, I think, of things I want to do and things my soul longs for sometimes. They are the inner core of who I am -- the things that make me happiest. It's the "what I want to do when I grow up" list that I probably should have come up with, oh, twenty years ago. Better late than never, I suppose. The list is in no certain order. I'm sure the list will change as the years do, but I feel pretty certain this is a good start.

THE LIST

• Read the entire Bible
• Work in a vet's office taking care of animals
• Raise a really good garden and share it with others
• Travel to Europe and see Italy and London
• See New York City at Christmas
• Go on a mission trip
• Walk where Jesus walked; visit the Holy Land
• Take a photography class (maybe even enter a photo contest!)
• Learn sign language (fluently)
• See my children grow up to be responsible, happy adults
• Print and scrapbook all the photos that are important to me and my family
• Meet Ellie's birth family.
• Go on a second honeymoon cruise with my husband (he loves cruises and I love him)
• Take Ellie to Disney World for the first time (and Josh back)
• Make a difference in people's lives
• Be brave enough to share my faith more freely with others
• Help my family feel loved, happy and content through my words and my actions.

Some of these are pretty ambiguous, like "make a difference in people's lives" and "help my family feel loved ..." but I think I will know if I'm doing or have done these things and they are really important to me. If the list seems, well, simple, it's because it is. I've learned that really, that's who I am and that's ok. God made many to be powerful, goal-oriented, achievers with really big goals, and then, He made those of us who are content with the small goals of things like a nice garden, a happy family and helping others when things are hard in their lives. And that's just who I am and who I want to continue to be. If I never am the president of a Fortune 500 company, I will certainly be happy -- even more so if I have made someone else's burdens a bit lighter. If I never live in a huge house I'll be happy (because I don't have to clean it!!) if my children enjoy looking back over the memories they made as children by looking at my photos and stories of them. If I never have a bank account with a million dollars, it will be fine if my husband and I can simply share time together and know that our marriage is happy and secure.

1000 posts ... I never set out to be here (in so many ways), but here I am and by God's grace I will be allowed to post 1000 more, and "Constant Reader" will still be here. I'm amazed all the time that people read my blog (85,000 hits since it's inception). WHY??? Thank you, though, it is humbling to know that you care about me and my family. Know that we love each of you -- even those we don't know who are reading -- very much. Without you, our lives would not be as full as they are.

This post in memory of all those who lost their lives in the 9/11/01 tragedy in New York. May none of us ever forget that we are not promised a tomorrow with those we love and that each day is monumental and precious. To all those who didn't get to finish their "lists", may I remember you as I attempt to complete mine.

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“So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. ~Matthew 6:34

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. ~Romans 8:38

How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. ~James 4:14