The Pendulum Swings

I am always amazed at how God can swing me from one place to another, like a clock pendulum, during a day. It was a crazy morning. I was anxious from the time I awoke because I knew this was the day that my friend Suzanne, who is in Kyrgyzstan, said she would be sending photos of Ellie today, if she could. I had great plans to work in the field today as I knew Kevin would be home writing reports. And then, the printer, the one I bought ink for last night, ran out of another color -- one I didn't have. No problem, I think we have another printer -- Kevin's. I download the software for it and it won't feed paper. Fine, I think, I have the portable printer I use to take with me on project trips. HA! Yes, HA! to me, the ink had dried up in it. So, another trip to Wal-mart is in the making. Before I leave, however, the pictures come!!!

I call Josh and Kevin over to see them as we open them and there she is, our daughter and sister, staring back at us from the other side of the world. We all kind of squealed (well, truth be told, I think I was the only one who did), "Look at her cheeks!" She has fluffed out in the cheek department since we were there. After much careful deliberation between the last photos we took and these, her cheeks haven't gotten that much bigger, but enough that it was noticeable. She had her eyes open. She wasn't smiling or anything (ha!) but looked ok. I was so excited for a little bit and then the pendulum swung the opposite way again -- I was just distraught that she was there, I am here and we cannot be together yet. I am her mommy, you see. I should be with her, and yet, I can't be. I wanted to get on a plane and just go there, be there with her until she can come home. But, I can't. So the joy was bittersweet. I am, however, so very appreciative that Suzanne took time out of her visit with her sweet baby to take photos of our little Ellie.

And Josh. We think he's doing better and that silly pendulum swings again and he just isn't. I'm not sure what is "appropriate" to expect regarding recovery, but he says it really hurts a lot -- still. His yeast infection in his mouth is still there. We called the doctor's office today and no one called back. Now, it was after 5:00 when I got home, but tomorrow I'll call again. I'm a bit frustrated by this. We have started him on a homeopathic remedy for his yeast infection. Hopefully, tomorrow we will see an improvement. He's still telling us that he needs pain medication about every four hours. He says it's just not working too well. I know he's got some "cabin fever" going on as well. I want to take him out, but know he doesn't need to be exposed to a lot of germs and possibly pick something up. Poor little man.

And then, the big thing today was that I was so anxious that we would possibly be having our adoption case heard in court today. We were not sure if we would be included with this group or not and thought, FOR SURE, we would know this week. And then, the pendulum swung and now, I'm not anxious anymore. Seems the judge in Tokmok is sick and could not come to work. And while this affected families whose cases would be heard in court this week, it postponed the trips of four families who were slated to leave this week to pick up their sweet babies. Adoption is so not for the faint of heart. Now, court might/should happen next week. We are told our coordinator is going to ask the judge to hear our case with the others, but no guarantees. Would you please remember us in prayer during the next week? Just a quick word to God that 1) His will be done, 2) that I realize it's HIS will, not mine, 3) that Ellie won't have to spend one extra day without her family than has to be. Selfish me wants to ask you to pray that we go to court next week, but God has really been talking to my heart about HIS will and not mine. I keep asking why those can't be the same. *smile* I would HATE to be God and have to deal with me on a regular basis.

So, it's been a day of juxtapositions. Yes-no. Hurry up-wait. Better-sick. Pictures-delays. Excitement-disappointment. The good news is, much like the weather, if you don't like the way things are around our house, hang around a few minutes and it will change.

In positive news, I managed to get four storage tubs unloaded tonight and put into the cabinets Kevin installed over the weekend. I was feeling all proud of myself for getting some work done out there and then I looked around and realized what a TOTAL MESS it still is and I was a bit discouraged. It will come along and be nice and orderly, but WHEW, that's a long way off, I think. I also managed to sort some of Ellie's clothes into those tubs (Jennifer, you are getting off the hook, I think!) based on sizes so I can get her closet cleaned out to paint inside. My mom said that I'm getting this extra time to get all the work done around here before she comes. I think she might be right on track there.

And, Sunshine, the dog, is still crazy as ever. We are giving her ear drops and antibiotics, but she just continues to follow someone everywhere they go. Poor Joshua locked himself in the bathroom to get away from her earlier. Hopefully, she will feel better soon, as well.