Mourning

No Christmas decoration photos today. I was not in the mood to decorate. I've been stunned and in mourning today.

My dear friends, Lori and John, went in to deliver sweet baby Matthew on Friday night. Sometime on Saturday, from what I can gather on Facebook, Lori had to have an emergency C-section and little Matthew was Lifeflighted to another nearby hospital's NICU where he later passed away.

I don't know any other details, but I am so in shock and so sad. A friend described it best: I am numb.

Lori and John have wanted children for so long. They were waiting to adopt from Kyrgyzstan when the country shut down. They decided to try IVF and it took on the first try and miracle boy Matthew was conceived. I have followed along through her pregnancy and have been so excited to see the birth of this sweet, so loved little boy.

I have trouble understanding God at times like this. I know He loves John and Lori and Matthew and that He has a plan in all of this, but I still can't help but ask WHY??? really loudly and really frequently. I've struggled with this all day long. It's never far from my mind.

My heart is with John and Lori right now. I can't imagine what they are going through and what their lives will be like over the next days and months to come. I can only pray earnestly and frequently that God will hold them in His loving arms and make His presence very known to them during this time -- that He will carry them when they can't take another step in the day.

So, out of respect for them, no photos today. I ask you to just stop right now and take a moment to remember wee little Matthew and his parents.