Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Motivation (or lack thereof)

I am copying this post from my travel mate Elizabeth's site. I know she won't mind, but it seemed to mimic my life recently to a T.

I am motivated to do nothing but vegg lately. Oh and I have sooooo much to do but I just can't get moving on anything.

A list of the things I am procrastinating on:
  • work - just in general. I am getting work done but not at my normal hectic pace
  • paying bills - they aren't due yet but even if they were I think I would be procrastinating
  • Ebay - we make alot of money by selling things on ebay....when I actually list things that is
  • unpacking - we've lived here since June 14th and I have yet to unpack more than 10 days worth of clothes
  • Russian - I am motivated to study before the next tutoring session, unfortunately the motivation doesn't kick in until about 30 min before the tutor arrives
  • decorating - Bill is just about out of rooms to paint but I haven't gotten around to picking out colors for any of the additional rooms
  • cleaning out my car - I always put this one off but it is now becoming a dire situation

I keep telling myself that once court is done, hopefully Friday, I will get motivated again. I soooo hope that is true cause I really do prefer my motivated, take on the world, kickin butt self...

Along those same lines, I've been feeling ANYTHING but motivated. So, those of you who have commented that I made a lot of bows and who might think I'm motivated and getting things done -- nope. Here's my list:

  • Work -- can't seem to get motivated. Left home today and forgot the memory card. Went to buy one and hubby had check card. By the time I got both memory card and check card, it was after noon. I was supposed to leave home and start working at nine. I keep saying I'll catch up when school gets back in session.
  • Housecleaning -- people, it's a dump, that's all I can say. I do a couple of loads of laundry a day and run the vacuum, but that's pretty much it. Kevin's been good about doing the dishes. I can't seem to get motivated. I WANT to...
  • Finishing Ellie's room -- still need to paint the trim, paint a dresser, order the valance/curtains. Again, want to - haven't.
  • Thank you notes -- need to get on them and get them done - nope.
  • Car - Piled up -- nothing new here, unfortunately, but NEED to wash it and clean it. Not motivated.
  • Finish organizing the office/craft room -- there are still the same piles that need to be gone through that needed to be done a month ago -- still in the same place.
  • Bill paying -- it's a good thing most of our bills are automatically taken out and the rest I can pay (quickly) online or things would be ugly there too.
I thought it was just me, and then I read Elizabeth's post and realized, that I think it's the uncertainty of it all. I called our agency today to see if there was any chance that court wouldn't happen Friday. I wondered if they'd had any feedback from the in-country staff. Our SW and the director were already gone, so, no help there. I know Elizabeth would agree with me that it's like waiting on the call for an organ transplant or something. There is nothing you can do, but wait. Your mind is literally all involved in waiting and wondering and hoping.

I feel certain that if they call or email on Friday and say court is finalized, I'll be a mad woman again trying to get it all done in the two months we have to wait to pick her up. I really need a motivator right now, because not a lot is getting done otherwise.


Jennifer's Family said...

My fingers are crossed for you for court on Friday!!

Jennifer G.

Corinne said...

My heart goes out to you. You have been through so much to get your daughter home.Hoping and praying that Friday in court will happen and you will be one step closer to bringing Ellie home.

Jeanne said...

I hope you can find some inspiration and motivation this week. I am anxiously waiting to hear your exciting court news!

Elizabeth and Bill said...

My list could have been so much longer but I couldn't find the motivation to type any more than I did! Where on earth do you find the motivation to blog so much right now? Well, maybe you find it in the same place I find motivation to drive completely out of my way to find a gas station with woopie pies....

Heather Brandt said...

Oh my goodness! I can so relate to what you said! We met our son in July and are waiting on a court date in Russia and have no indication of when we might be able to return for him...I can't get motivated to clean, etc. either...

I'm praying that many preadoptive families bring home their children before the end of the year :)