Friday, October 17, 2008

Friday in Bishkek

As I sit in the floor of the hotel of the Silk Road Lodge, little Miss sits - yes, propped but sitting nonetheless playing with her toys. Her strength has increased incredibly in the last few days, going from spaghetti legs to strong ones that jump while in my lap. There is no doubt she will sit on her own soon because she is so determined. She has gone from a little one who arched her back when being held to one who snuggles right up under my chin and who wants to be held and wants to rub my shirt constantly. She "talks" and coos and blows raspberries to us, all the while smiling.

However, we are still struggling with something akin to night terrors when she sleeps. It doesn't happen every time she sleeps, but she will be fully asleep and alternately crying, moaning, mumbling and shrieking. No matter how much you rock, walk, talk, sing or try to comfort, it has to pass. Just this last nap, we had three such instances. It's very hard to watch and experience. It makes me wonder what in the world has traumatized this little one so badly. It really breaks my heart to watch it.

We are still wishing for sleep, but think it might just be something we have to do in shifts until she gets home. Because she sleeps a lot in the day (and not much at night), we know that when she gets home she'll be on the "right" schedule. *smile*

Elizabeth and I have gone to the U*S Embassy in Bish*kek this afternoon and did what we had to do there. We are now approved to leave to go to Kazakhstan. We will leave here at 1:30 p.m. on Monday (local time), which will be none too soon. I just want to be home, even as much as I'm dreading the plane ride home. I worry that she will have some of her night terrors on the plane and that I won't be able to walk with her. They are long flights and she will not sleep anywhere except on one of us. It should be interesting. Kevin, be prepared; as soon as I hit the door, I'm in the bed sleeping. *smile*


Margaret and Tom said...

Maria, maybe the noise of the airplane and the motion will help her sleep after all...I am praying it will not be that bad for you...but either way you will be coming HOME!! Glad to hear she is getting stronger with every passing is truely amazing how these kids rebound!

April Taylor said...

Maria, you are a fantastic mother! Noah too went through a phse of only wanting to be held (and only by me) when sleeping, but in the last week we have finally been able to put him down and he sleeps for long stretches on his own.

Let me tell you why Ellie's behavior is encouraging. Noah was so "easy" for the first month, goin happily to whomever wanted to hold him, that I don't think he really started attaching until later. He always showed a clear preferance for me, but it wasn't until he got sick a few weeks ago (a sleepless hell week for us) that I think he really stsrted feeling in his bones that we would take care of him forever. He also may have been so focused on growing and catching up, that attaching wasn't a priority for him (you know, subconciously.)

It sounds like Ellie is doing now what it took Noah a couple of months to do. She is asking for her needs to be met and you are meeting them and this WILL get easier, I promise you that.

Just so you know, I have cried right along with ecery one of my babies, and sometimes locked in the bathroom too.

And on the plane, well, who knows, maybe the white noise will be a comfort to her. I wouldn't worry about the other people. I never hear other people's kids, but I'm sure their parents think they are being loud.

Hugs to you my dear!
xoxo April Taylor

Julie W said...

It all sounds good!! If you are approved now, why do you need to wait until Monday to go to Kazakhstan?

It stinks that all this paperwork delays the babies getting to their forever families. Especially the ones where the babies are even older (Taiwan, China).

We adopted domestically a 15 month old and because we did it slowly, over a ten day period, our daughter never freaked out. We got lucky. And she got to know us and trust us. We met with her at her house the first day for 2 hours and each day stayed longer and longer. Then we took her out for short trips. So by day ten, she was very comfortable with us and even slept well the very first night!! I know our situation is very unusual.

I just get so sad to think the wait does not need to happen if the countries could get all the paperwork done BEFORE the baby is born. The adjustment would be so much easier for the babies...

Anyways, sorry for the digression. She really is a beautiful baby!! Love the pics where her little tongue is sticking out! And love hearing she has her days and nights mixed up!! Hoping that works out perfectly once you get home!!

Hilary Marquis said...

Terrors are no fun, Tyler had them frequently as a baby and toddler. Just hold her and talk to her, it's all you can do. You are doing a great job, Maria! You are just what Ellie needs, even if she doesn't yet know won't take long. "I can do ALL things through Christ who strenths me" Phillipians 4:13 Anara didn't sleep much on the plane, but she was fairly content just to have daddy hold her. Hang on, you're almost home and it will be daddy's turn ;)

janiece said...

I know how rough it is. With Julia she wouldn't let anyone hold her except me. If Ted held her so I could go to the bathroom she'd scream. I'm living proof it DOES get better. I remember crying in the shower, the bathroom, as I would try to fall asleep at night, carrying Julia, looking at her. You name it, I would cry. With Rauan it was equally as rough. It's an adjustment for both of you. IT WILL GET BETTER!!! I promise. You and Ellie will figure each other out and get a rythm for your life together. Transition is never easy but you'll get there.

Shannon said...


E has had these "night terrors" on and off for the last 18 months. They have greatly dimished to a couple a month (from several a night in the beginning). I found that the best thing for him was to completely wake him up - pick him up, talk to him, turn some lights on, etc. and then soothe him back to sleep. It seemed the harder we tried to comfort him in a semi-sleeping state the worse it got.

As for the plane ride - we dreaded it much like you are and he was either soothed by the white noise and vibration or just plain too exhausted to fuss - he slept most of the first leg and 9 straight hours on the second leg, hardly even waking up when I had to change the poo-pants (7 times!!).

You are doing so great!

Lori said...

I think it is fairly agreed that Kevin will be due for some Princess duty while you recover some sleep!!! I'm so glad she likes cuddling her mama though!! I bet your heart melts!

Kelli said...

I am sorry you are dealing with the night terrors. It has to be incredibly hard to watch. I will be saying a prayer for a safe and uneventful trip home.