Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Moving Along

Each day I have a small list of things to accomplish. By doing so, I will hopefully be ready to leave when it's time. Today's list was to inspect 30 houses, buy gifts and call the doctor for prescriptions for Ellie. Two out of three "ain't" bad, I guess. I never made it around to calling the doctor.
I did, however, get the jobs inspected. Tomorrow I'll either do more in the morning or do the paperwork for these. I'm really tired now, so I'm not sure which.

I bought all the gifts, except the one for the orphanage director. I couldn't find anything that seemed just right for her.

I got a letter from our agency requesting KL*M allow us to take one additional piece of luggage with the orphanage donations. I've sent them an email asking about this. I also probably should check with North*west since they are the American counterpart.

I also got four space bags and I will try, very soon, to see if I can squeeze Ellie's clothing into them.

I had a fun thing happen yesterday too -- Ellie got her first piece of mail address to her. How shocking it was to see her name in print on a piece o mail -- just like a real person (which, of course, she is!!). It took me aback just a little bit to see it. It was her insurance card. Somehow, it made it all the more real.

Each day brings about a new set of emotions for me. It's like unwrapping a box each morning to find a surprise waiting there for you. Today's thoughts running through my mind were a bit sad. I'm being honest here, because I don't remember ever reading (during my blog stalking period where I read anything anyone wrote about Kryg adoptions -- ha, like I don't still!!) about how people were actually dealing with the emotions that come about as a result of adoption. So, I'm baring my soul here, after talking to some other adoptive parents to make sure it's "normal" to be feeling what I am. The good news is, like I told a friend, by the time the day is over, I will have worked through that day's emotions and tomorrow will bring a new set.

Anyway, today I realized I only have 17 more days with my family as it is now. The three of us, our current family, will be forever changed when I step off the plane on October 24. We will have become a family of four. And, honestly, that scares me a little. I don't have any experience here about what this will be like. We've grown comfortable in our roles -- even when things aren't all rosy, we are still comfortable in what our roles are, how we will react and secure in our love for one another. Now, we are adding an unknown element to our world. What will that look like? What will the "new normal" be? After all, they are handing over a baby to us who knows nothing about us and we know little to nothing about her. I know, without a doubt, that she will fit into our family and that we won't be able to imagine our lives without her -- in a while. I just don't know what getting to that place is going to look like. When we had Josh, we were young and stupid. Now, well, we are just old and stupid, but we know more about what to expect and how hard it can be to have a baby in the house. I think, however, knowing is better. While you can never be fully prepared, we are more prepared than before.

So... today's thoughts were on what the "new normal" will be -- how we will deal and cope with that and how in the world we get from "not a clue" about each other to a family of four.

Lest anyone think differently though, we ARE excited about her coming home and cannot WAIT to see her again. There's just lots of feelings and emotions to sort through before she gets here.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring!! I know that it will bring my buddy Caleb who is coming to visit with me for a few hours while his mom volunteers at school. I can't wait to play with him!!

And, here is a photo of The Princess. 404 hours until our plane leaves.


Ann said...

Hi Maria still stalking here just have not been able to comment everyday. Thank you for posting those feelings. I am not there yet but when the time comes I will go back and reread this post. I am sure all will be well. I hope that your adjustment period is smooth


Jennifer G. said...

I can't wait to see recent pictures to see how she looks now!

Marnie and Jeremy said...

I totally understand. I think all of us that have moved on to another stage in our lives have a little twinge of selfishness just before our lives change forever. People ask me why I would want to start over at my age. I just tell them that I plan on going right from children to grandchildren and my children are not ready to have children yet. I am going to continue to stalk. Have a wonderful and safe trip.